Something More
by whitelily7
Summary: After a night together Emily and JJ have to decide if they want something more with each other or if it was just a mistake never to be thought of again. Set in Season 6.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first attempt at fan fiction so please be gentle. It is set at the beginning of season 6 right before JJ leaves. And it is rated M.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

"Is there something wrong with me?" JJ asked in a slightly inebriated voice. Drinks with the girls right after getting back from California turned into 'Why do guys suck?' night. And after too many drinks Jennifer Jareau was on a rant. "I'm serious! Every date I've been on since Will and I broke up has ended in disaster. And now Will is dating again. And I can't even hate the girl because my kid is in love with her." she whined as Emily and Penelope laughed.

"Jayje there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe you just haven't met the right guy yet." Emily Prentiss ran her hand down JJ's arm soothingly.

"Guys suck Jayje! Maybe you should bat for the other team like Em." Penelope Garcia chipped in taking a sip of her fruity drink. She had no clue what was actually in it but it was pretty.

"Hate to tell you but it's not any better. Women are vicious!" Emily told them putting her elbows on the table in defeat. "My last date was horrible and I haven't gotten laid in weeks."

"Me either. Plus I don't know that I could sleep with a woman. What's it like?" JJ asked in a serious tone that made Emily's insides quiver.

When Emily first joined the BAU JJ caught her attention right away. She was stunning and as they became friends Emily learned more and more about JJ that she couldn't shake. And on Emily's part that friendship became more. She struggled with her feelings for the blonde constantly and whenever they ended up having these kinds of conversations she had to keep those feelings hidden. She made sure to put on a professional front when interacting with JJ at work but as they grew closer over the years it was harder to keep that front in their personal life.

"What's it like with a man?" Emily countered laughing as they sounded like teenagers. The alcohol, she mused.

Penelope giggled and JJ rolled her eyes. "Why don't you just sleep with a man and then you'll know?" JJ said taking the last swig of her drink and motioned to the bartender for another.

"Why don't you sleep with a woman and then you'll know?" Emily shot back in a whisper as JJ leaned closer to her while reaching for her drink. JJ's eyes widened as her head turned and their eyes locked. Emily could hear the blonde's slight gasp and it sent a chill down her spine. Their faces so close Emily itched to grab JJ and kiss her. She knew it was the alcohol talking but it was also that small part of her that still craved the blonde.

"I think we've all had too much to drink and I must take my leave. Kevin is at home and if I'm lucky I might get laid." Penelope was oblivious of the connection she just broke as she stood and grabbed her purse.

Emily and JJ moved apart quickly both smiling awkwardly at Penelope. "Yeah we have, I guess." Emily said avoiding any contact with JJ as they gathered their things and stalked to the door.

"Hey Em, do you think you can get Jayje home? I think she's too out of it." Pen asked trying to hold up the drunken media liaison.

"No I'm fine I can get a cab." JJ said straightening herself only to lean on Pen a second later.

"I'll split one with you just to make sure you get home safe." Emily told her hugging Pen goodnight and taking over walking service for JJ.

The cab ride to JJ's was quiet which Emily appreciated. Her mind was still reeling from the moment back at the bar. She could've swore JJ's eyes darkened with desire as hers did but after Pen interrupted JJ covered quickly and acted like it was nothing. Emily was old enough to know she was just pining and wishing but that's all she had. Working for the BAU she was limited on time to date, which she didn't due often, to try to get over the blonde. One night stands were her norm and that worked but JJ was different.

Over the years there were moments that gave her hope that something might happen between the two. Touches or words that brought light and made her see she was worth it but in an instant, much like tonight, it was gone. Pathetically she held onto those moments. They were the moments that were making it harder and harder to not fall in love with JJ.

Arriving at JJ's apartment Emily let the two of them in after JJ unsuccessfully tried to put the key into the door.

"Alright let's get you to bed." Emily wrapped an arm around JJ's waist and walked her to her bedroom. Emily had been there many times and knew her way around the apartment. She carefully set JJ on the edge of the bed and went to the dresser for some sweats.

"Em, you don't have to help me. I am a very capable woman." JJ slurred trying to stand but falling back with a drunken giggle. "Ok maybe not. Glad Henry's not here to see his Mama drunk off her ass."

"It's okay Jen. Here put these on and I'll grab some water and Advil." Emily handed her the clothes and went to the bathroom. On her way back she froze. JJ was topless lying on the bed. Quietly Emily moved into the room once again trying hard to avoid looking at JJ's perfect body and shuffled a passed out blonde onto the pillows and threw a blanket over her. She stared at her sleeping face. The stress she normally saw was gone and a hint of a smile tugged at the blonde's lips. _Lips_… Emily shook her head.

"Don't think about her lips." Emily whispered berating herself for the thoughts of her best friend's lips doing wonderful things to her body. Closing the door to JJ's room Emily looked at the clock. Wandering into the living room she plopped down on the couch. It was past 2am and there was no way she was going to get a cab at this hour. Instead she settled down on the couch and closed her eyes.

JJ's eyes opened slowly. She looked around and sighed. _Home_. Noticing the water and pills on the night stand she sat up and downed the water. Slowly moving to the kitchen for another drink she caught sight of the brunette on her couch.

Bits and pieces of hours before ran through her mind as she stared at Emily's sleeping form. _"Why don't you sleep with a woman and then you'll know?"_ Emily's words haunted her. Though she said the same to Emily it was those words that stuck to her. Did she really want to know or was it just her way of bitching about men? She couldn't answer that. But if the moment she shared with Emily earlier was any indication she might really want to know. The second Emily's eyes locked with hers JJ could feel her heart hammering in her chest and was left breathless as the dark chocolate eyes swallowed her whole. Every so often when Emily looked at her or touched her a certain way her heart would flutter and her body would react but she ignored it. She wasn't gay. Heck she had a kid with a man that she did at one point love.

Now thinking about it she was glad Pen broke the spell. Emily was her best friend and that would just be awkward…her thoughts trailed off as her feet moved towards the couch and looked down at the woman. Emily's eyes fluttered slightly then opened the moment she stopped. Dark eyes locked with bright blue and both women stayed still. The air between them seemed to evaporate and all that was heard was shallow breaths.

Emily was surprised to see JJ standing over her but as she stared into her eyes she was paralyzed. It was the same feeling she felt at the bar. Still foggy with sleep and alcohol Emily sat up but her eyes never left JJ.

JJ bit at her bottom lip making Emily's heart race. "You stayed?" she whispered not knowing what to say.

"It was late. I didn't think you'd…"

"I don't." JJ cut her off and tried smiling slightly.

Emily smiled back. Finally pulling her eyes away she looked down at her hands. "Maybe I should go?" she didn't realize she actually said it out loud until JJ moved forward to a few feet in front of her.

"No stay." JJ said quickly. She could tell Emily felt awkward but JJ couldn't let her leave. "I want to know." she said making a decision.

Emily frowned then gazed at her friend. It all clicked. Her eyes went wide. JJ wanted to know what it was like with a woman. Emily's heart sped up. "Jayje, your drunk." She said. Her mind was yelling at her to get out now. JJ didn't know what she was saying. The poor girl drank more than enough for three people.

"I might be but I'm coherent enough to know what I want and I want… you." Her blues eyes pleaded with Emily to comply.

Emily stood up and erased the few feet between them. "I don't know if I can do this Jen." Her voice quivered. Her dream was coming true before her very eyes but for some reason she was scared shitless.

"Please Em, I want to know." JJ begged reaching out to Emily's face. She pulled her closer and looked into her eyes one more time before kissing her. It was slow but as JJ moan Emily quickly took over pushing her tongue into the blonde's mouth. JJ ran her hands down Emily's arms to her hips pulling her closer. She moaned at the feeling of Emily's body against hers.

Emily pulled back and waited for JJ to open her eyes. "Are you sure?"

JJ smiled and nodded. "Bedroom"

...

Her blue eyes fluttered closed and a deep moan fell through her lips. God, she felt so good. She could feel heat boiling her body completely. It incased her starting at her head running through her veins all the way to her toes.

JJ's mind was mush. She couldn't think of anything but the heat as Emily's thigh pressed into her making her body burn. Her eyes opened once again but all she could see were dark chocolate eyes staring back at her swallowing her up and sending sparks to her core.

"Em…" a small plea left her mouth as the brunette pressed her body down on JJ's and smiled smugly. JJ's hands grasped at the other woman's back as soft lips found her neck, kissing a trail gently down her throat to her chest. Another moan erupted from the blonde and she arched her back pushing her breasts closer to the brunette's mouth. She could hear a slight chuckle from above her but she paid it no mind as more heat rushed her body and soul. Emily was killing her.

Her mind was racing to keep up but failed as Emily's hand trailed down her body lower and lower until JJ's eyes rolled up. Right there, her mind screamed but all that came up was a half moan half sob. Her hands found purchase on Emily's strong shoulders squeezing as the woman entered her.

Emily looked up at JJ with a sly smile playing at her lips. She moved slowly, just bringing JJ to the edge but never enough to toss her completely over. Why would she do a thing like that when her most secret of fantasies were coming true at that very moment? The blonde agent was spread out below her, mouth opened, face flushed and every incoherent thought bubbling to the surface. JJ's body beckoned for her hands, her mouth, and her body. Emily couldn't take her hands away even if JJ asked.

Gently Emily bit down on the soft skin at the junction of JJ's neck and shoulders. That earned her a growl which only made her own desire sky rocket. But she wouldn't give into to herself. Not yet at least. If this was the first and last time she had the other woman in this position she was dead set on making it unforgettable.

All too soon JJ's body clamped down on Emily and with a moan of her name JJ came apart in her arms. Emily watched her eyes flutter and her body relax back into the bed. She smirked when JJ's blue eyes bright with passion locked on hers.

"You're gorgeous" Emily whispered nipping at her bottom lip.

"Your turn" The blonde's husky voice sent waves of desire straight to Emily's core.

JJ pushed Emily off and leaned over her. Her body was still strumming but she had no problem giving as well as she got. And boy did she get. She captured Emily's full lips with hers. She didn't wait for permission pushing her tongue past the other woman's lips and straight into the warm wet cavern inside. JJ mimicked with her lips and tongue what she would soon be doing down a little south. The deep moans she got for her effort only boosted her confidence that much more.

JJ gently broke from their kisses and made her way lower leaving kisses and licks and even small nibbles behind as she went. Emily tensed just slightly as JJ's warm breath bathed her aching need at the apex of her tights. She smiled down at the blonde and pushed her head down telling her in not so many words to get to work and quit playing. All her worrying vanished as JJ's mouth was on her.

Light flashed behind her eye lids as JJ worked her like a pro. Emily moaned as she drove closer and closer to the edge. She never thought this would happen. Not in any reality did she think JJ would want her like this.

Not but hours before Emily was listening to JJ's rants on men and how she thought there was something wrong with her. Oh how wrong she could be, Emily thought as a low groan emitted into the air as JJ's tongue hit exactly where Emily needed it most.

A few strokes later Emily was high in the thrones of passion as her hands clutched at JJ's head and a harsh "Fuck" could be heard.

JJ crawled back up Emily's body kissing her way once more as the agent gathered her being. Their lips collided in a soft kiss leaving JJ breathless and aching for more but then her drunken state took over and her head dropped to Emily's shoulder.

"Wow" JJ smiled making Emily giggle softly.

"That's all you can say?"

JJ raised her head and an eyebrow. "Can you give me a second to gather my mind off the floor?"

Emily laughed lazily wrapping an arm around JJ's waist. "I can give you all the time you need."

**A/N: Want more?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! They made my day! This chapter somewhat follows Season 6 episode 2 'JJ'. Every now and then I will hit on an episode but the main focus is the relationship between JJ and Emily.**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

JJ's blue eyes opened feeling the bed move next to her. Blinking a few times she turned over and her jaw dropped. _Emily Prentiss is sleeping naked in my bed!_ Frowning slightly she remembered the night before; the way Emily felt on top of her skin on skin, the way her eyes had rolled up as Emily's hands caressed her thighs just before Emily was inside her, and the heat that swallowed her up whole. And she couldn't forget the way Emily tasted. The other woman's body was seared into her mind.

Blushing red she rolled over and gently climbed out of the bed as to not disturb the other woman. Closing the door to her bathroom JJ leaned over the sink. Her head pounded as effects of her hangover overtook her thoughts. She knew she should've taken the pills Emily put out for her when she woke the first time but she was too preoccupied begging Emily into bed with her.

"I slept with Emily." she whispered staring at her reflection in the mirror over the sink. "Shit I slept with Emily." she smacked her hand over her forehead then winced at the throb it brought. She grabbed her robe from the door and slung it on covering up the evidence of their night Emily left on her.

As she thought about everything that happened the night before she panicked. She just had the best sex of her life with her best friend. What the hell was she going to do now? Go out there and act like nothing happened? No it did happen and she won't regret it or be ashamed of it. For all the parts she remembered Emily was amazing. She made JJ feel beautiful in every way possible. But what does that mean? Does she have feelings for Emily or was it just drunken sex that will never happen again?

Shaking her head from all the questions she was in no way prepared to answer at the moment JJ pulled at the tie of her robe and opened the door. She stopped as Emily sat at the end of the bed fully dressed and slipping on her shoes. "Hey" JJ said hoping the nervousness in her stomach wouldn't be evident in her voice.

Emily looked up and smiled. "Hey" she didn't know what else to say and from the way JJ was biting at her lip she didn't either. Emily had woken up as JJ scurried to the bathroom minutes ago. After a few minutes of no water running and no movements Emily figured JJ was in there trying to figure out what was going on. That's when her heart sank completely. She knew last night she should've said no. She should've told JJ to go back to bed and left. But no she had to sleep with the woman and now JJ was regretting it.

"Emily" JJ started but Emily's hand went up stopping any form of regret that JJ could say.

"Let's not do this okay? It happened and now we can forget it." Emily said looking away from those blue eyes that made her insides clench with want and desire. She wanted to hear what the blonde was going to say but her ego stopped it. If JJ said anything that would crush her Emily knew she wouldn't make it out the door without breaking down.

JJ nodded slowly. "If that's what you want." JJ didn't know if she was relieved or hurt by Emily's response. Emily didn't even want to talk about it but that was Emily. One night stands were all the brunette could handle. But _this_ situation was different but JJ knew if Emily didn't want to talk about it she was in no condition to argue if she didn't even know what she wanted.

"Think its best. Don't you?" Emily asked gazing at the door to the bedroom. It was only a few feet away and at that moment she would love to run through it.

"I guess." JJ smiled weakly at her.

"I should get go..." Emily paused reaching for her ringing phone on the night stand. Looking at the caller ID she groaned. "It's Hotch." she said to JJ before she answered.

…

To say Emily was concerned was an understatement. Not only was the case trying but now the threat of JJ being transferred out had her picking at her nails more than normal. Emily was pretty certain that Hotch wouldn't let that happen but if it did come to pass Emily didn't know what the team would do without the media liaison.

JJ was the heart of the BAU and Emily was proud that JJ was proving that during this case. The poor family that not only lost their son a few years before to leukemia but now their daughter was missing. Emily wouldn't think any other way. Kate Joyce was not dead till they had a body. She was just missing. Emily knew the odds and the statistics thanks to one of Dr. Reid's many rants but she needed to keep her optimism.

JJ stayed with the family and did everything in her power to help them like she always did. But Emily could tell JJ was running low so she took a small break from interviewing James Barrett and ran to the vending machine for a little pick me up for herself and JJ. The team ate when they could but today no one had left the station except to look at the last place Kate was so the vending machine was all they could get.

"Thanks" JJ took the bag of Cheetos from Emily and plopped into a chair in the detective's office. "Anything from Barrett yet?" her hope of finding Kate was dwindling but her heart told her to keep going. JJ couldn't imagine what Kate's parents were going through. If it were Henry she knew she would be just like Kate's father. She would hound everyone till something got done and her baby was back with her.

"No, I'm sorry." Emily opened her granola bar and took a bite. "Keep hope okay? We're gonna find her." she squeezed JJ's hand reassuringly then let go as her heart ached to pull JJ into her arms and hold her just like she did the night before. The further she stayed away the better it would be.

JJ nodded leaning back in her chair and polishing off her snack. They sat in silence which was never awkward for the two women. It was just a comfort to be near the other as it was to discuss anything. If they ended up sharing a hotel room on a case it was always quiet. They went about their nightly routines separately, both getting their heads on straight then they would settle for some TV and sleep. It was always comfortable which Emily now feared it wouldn't be.

"Why don't you give Henry a call and I will go check with Hotch about what's next." Emily told JJ after finishing her food and standing up.

"Hey Em," JJ waited for Emily to turn around. "Thanks for… this." She meant the way Emily knew exactly what she needed like hearing Henry's voice at that very moment but Emily knew what she meant.

"Anytime" Emily smiled and left.

…

Finding Kate alive was the best thing JJ could've asked for. It gave her hope and belief that they were doing good in this world. And seeing the parent's faces made her job the best job she could ask for. But as she cleaned up the round table room back at the BAU her life changed.

Hotch was never the barer of good news and he was spot on this time too. The Pentagon wanted her. So, she thought as Hotch told her that he was hoping to get her back, why couldn't they find someone else? Why did it have to be her?

She looked down at her team, her family, and locked eyes with Emily. "How can I tell them I'm leaving when I don't want to go?" _How do I tell her I'm leaving?_ She added internally. His answer wasn't an answer to her question but they both knew there wasn't one. As he quickly took his exit JJ bit her lip and looked around, her home for the past 6 almost 7 years was now going to be a memory.

This one room held all the bad things they went through together. All the cases and serial killers but it also held the good things. She even made sure of that by bringing a newborn Henry here to meet his extended family. All the birthday parties and celebratory gatherings were all in the round table room.

Holding back her tears she took a seat and glanced at the exit interview Strauss wanted her to fill out. Tell the truth, Hotch had said so she did.

…

Emily sat with the guys and watched Hotch practically run to his office, his face tense and his hand slightly shaking. This wasn't good, she mused.

"No" Emily shook her head slightly as JJ walked into the bullpen. Her hands twitched to pull JJ into her arms as everyone turned to the blonde in disbelief.

As JJ confirmed the transfer everyone put in their two cents but Emily tried to stay out of it and backed away from the group. JJ said her tearful goodbyes to the guys then looked to her. Emily put on her fake 'I'm happy for you' smile but JJ frowned seeing through it.

"Come with me." The blonde said turning towards the glass doors and Emily followed willingly. They walked to JJ's office and stood for a few minutes staring at nothing in particular.

"Jayje, I'm so sorry." Emily threw all her worries about herself and JJ out and hugged her friend.

JJ's tears finally came. She held off for as long as she could but now in Emily's arms she let go clutching to Emily's back as her face fell to her shoulder. "I don't want to go." She quietly sobbed out.

"I know." Emily held on tighter not letting her own emotions run away. "We know you don't but maybe this will be good." she had to think of something to make JJ feel better but her mind wasn't coming up with anything. She didn't want this as much as JJ didn't.

"This is my home, my family I don't know what to do without that." JJ wiped her cheeks backing away from her friend.

"We aren't going anywhere Jay. Plus you're not getting rid of Penelope or me that easily. It won't be like it is now but we'll make it work." Emily encouraged.

"God Penelope is going to freak out." JJ laughed. "I probably won't make it out of the building tonight."

"You might not" Emily agreed with her own laugh. Seeing JJ's smile brought out her own. "It'll be okay."

JJ took a deep breath getting her emotions back in check and tossed her papers to her desk. "Sorry I just…" she motioned with her hands in the air.

"It's fine." Emily assured her. "When is your last day?"

"This was my last case but I have until the end of the week to get everything in. And I will probably take the week to mope around." She shrugged.

"Are you about to head out?"

"No I need to find Pen and then turn in some stuff." JJ said as the awkward tension from two days ago came back. The way Emily fidgeted told JJ she felt it too. "Listen Emily, about the other night I just wanted you to know that I don't regret it. It's confusing for sure but that isn't because of you."

A smile tugged at Emily's lips. "You don't have to explain it to me. I should've stopped it. I guess I was drunker than I thought." She covered but she was relieved JJ didn't hate her for it or regret anything that happened. Nothing more would happen but at least they could walk away still friends.

"It's no wonder all those girls chase after you though." JJ joked winking at Emily.

Emily laughed "I don't think their chasing after me."

"What about that girl in Vegas?" JJ had a good memory of a few years ago when the team had a case. The morning that they were leaving a blonde woman tried over and over to get Emily to take her number but Emily turned her down saying it was just one night and she wasn't looking for anything more.

Groaning Emily put her face in her hands. "Jayje!"

"Okay all joking aside I just want us to be okay?"

Emily smiled at her. "We are. And just so you know you were much better than that blonde." She said quickly then left leaving the media liaison stunned speechless standing in her office.

After dragging her jaw off the ground JJ went to Penelope's office. The two had a tearful goodbye in which JJ promised to make sure to keep in contact. Then she left, it wouldn't be her last time there but it was the end of that chapter in her life. The only thing keeping a smile on her face was the thought of seeing her little boy.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Once again thank you so much for your kind comments and story alerts. It means so much. **

JJ looked around her empty office and her heart dropped. A normal week would drag on especially if the team were on a case but not her last week. It seemed to end seconds after it started. It didn't seem fair but JJ did her best to get all her ducks in order. At Hotch's refusal she didn't have to train a new liaison which took some stress off but she refused to leave Hotch empty handed so she made sure all her files were in order and properly coded. She laughed at herself thinking if she had just done that before that her office might not have had stacks and stacks of files and paperwork lying around. _Too late now though!_ She mused.

By mid week most of her work was done and she had planned to spend most of that time with her team but half of them took vacation and weren't even in the office. Luckily Pen and Emily were there to keep her company even if things with the brunette were still somewhat tense she enjoyed those last few days.

A few mornings ago JJ spotted Emily in the kitchenette getting her morning coffee so she stopped by for a quick chat. They joked about Henry's new wardrobe choices- different colored socks to match his Uncle Spencer's and a new red cape that he wore everywhere- but when JJ placed her hand on Emily's arm to reach over for a spoon Emily's body went stilled and she quickly moved away. Touches between the two never before had even been noticed where the blonde was concerned but now Emily went out of her way to avoid them.

JJ hated that Emily felt uneasy around her so she tossed her papers on her desk and went straight to Penelope's office. She knocked on the closed door and with permission she entered. "Morning" she smiled taking Pen's extra chair. The blonde tech always kept it in the corner of her office just for JJ and their morning girl talks.

"Morning sweet cheeks!"

JJ chuckled at the name and played with the hem of her shirt. She was nervous about the conversation she was getting ready to have with Penelope. Pen would never judge her for sleeping with Emily and God knows Pen loved the fact that Emily was gay and she had someone else to set up on blind dates but JJ was still confused about her own feelings on the subject.

"Jayje, are you okay?" Garcia asked turning to give JJ her full attention. "You have your puppy dog face on."

"My what?"

"Your face when you're sad. What's going on? Do I need to get Em and have a girl's day?"

"What no! No Emily." JJ quickly hopped up and shut the office door. "That's what I need to talk to you about." JJ faced her.

"About Emily?"

JJ hung her head. "I kind of slept with her and now she hates me." Penelope's eyebrows shot up and her mouth fell open. JJ rolled her eyes and continued. "If I touch her she tenses and moves away and if for some reason we end up alone in the same room she all but halls butt out. When it happened she was the one who wanted to forget about it and be friends which I agreed to but now she hates me. And for some god awful reason I can't stop thinking about her. It's like gravity is pulling me towards her and every time she does run my heart breaks. Pen, I don't know what to do."

"Blondie, I don't know what to say. You slept with Emily?" she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her two best friends slept together! Why didn't she think of that? She grinned then frowned. "Jayje are you…"

"I don't know." JJ said truthfully. She had never thought about women that way before but ever since that night Emily was all she could think of. Her body, her taste, how she made JJ feel. All of it was replayed in JJ's mind every time she saw the woman. "It was that night after the bar. I was drunk and so was she but it happened."

"Wow" Garcia was utterly speechless.

"It was wow." She confessed. "Pen, I don't think about women that way but Emily…" she shrugged pulling up her chair again.

"She rocked your world! I knew she had to be great in bed. It's those eyes." The glee on Penelope's face made JJ smile in return. The nervousness from before faded and she relaxed more.

"She is but that's not the problem. Pen, I don't want to lose my friend which is what's happening." JJ said.

"Have you talked to her about it?"

JJ shook her head. "No, how do I bring that up? I can't get close enough to actually talk about anything. I can ignore the feelings and confusion and just go back to the way we were before. That's all I want."

"Jayje, she doesn't hate you. Sounds to me like she likes you a little too much. But how do you feel about her? You say you can ignore the feelings but do you really want to or do you want more?" that was the million dollar question. JJ had no answer for that. Sure she was constantly thinking about Emily now and she thoroughly enjoyed that night but she wasn't prepared to go further but maybe she was.

"I don't know. She makes me…" she paused then grinned "breathless. How weird does that sound?" she looked up to see the same grin on Garcia's face.

"And?" she prompted.

JJ took a deep breath. "And she's beautiful and smart and she can do amazing things to me. That night all I could think was how beautiful she made me feel, like I was her whole world. It's intoxicating. I've kind of perfected the fake orgasm but with Emily nothing was faked."

Penelope's squeal made JJ laugh. "You are so totally smitten with her! This could be so great!"

"Whoa Pen, we aren't anything. I still don't know if I truly want more and from the way she's giving me the cold shoulder I don't think she does either." JJ held her hands up as she spoke to calm the other blonde.

"Is it because she's a woman?" the question caught JJ off guard but it was a relevant one all the same.

"Maybe"

"Jayje, we can't help who we're attracted to. Male, female, black, white it's just people. If you think you might want something with Emily then do it. Don't be scared because she's a woman." Garcia took JJ's hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"I know your right but why don't I look at other women if I'm attracted to Emily?"

"Are you attracted because she's a woman or because of who she is as a person and how she makes you feel?" the counter question made JJ smile. Garcia was right as always. Now she just had to figure out what was up with Emily.

After filling up her coffee and leaving Garcia's office in promise of gossip later JJ headed to her empty office. As she walked in the door she stopped. Standing in the middle of the room was the brunette she was just wondering about. "Hey"

Emily turned with a weak smile. She had been staring at the empty office for minutes now but couldn't seem to leave. It just made it final. JJ was leaving. "Hey"

"Been up here long?" JJ asked setting down her coffee before her shaking hand gave her away.

"Kind of. It seems so big now." she gestured to the spot JJ use to have a table and chairs set in the corner. Many morning coffees and lunches were on that table. That's where Emily learned JJ had broken up with Will and where she first felt the spark that was always around them now.

The past week had been hell on Emily. Every time JJ got near her Emily's heart would race and her stomach would do this weird fluttering thing. Emily hated feeling like that and even more that JJ could see it. Admittedly Emily didn't do relationships not that JJ was asking for one but Emily wanted one. It was all so confusing. She had never wanted more from any of the women she slept with except for JJ. How could she not though? JJ was everything she ever wanted and more but Emily feared she would just screw it up like her one and only relationship years ago.

"Yeah it does." JJ agreed moving closer just to see what Emily would do. And sure enough as JJ brushed passed her Emily moved away. JJ tried not to show the hurt on her face that she was feeling by the rejection. "Did you need anything?" she covered moving some things on her desk.

"No, I was just passing by and saw it almost empty. Wish you didn't have to leave." Emily confessed plotting her exit as her eyes darted to the door. Her breaths were becoming shallow as the air thickened in the office.

"Me too but I am excited to spend more nights at home with Henry." JJ bit her lip and moved forward once again. "Why do you do that?" she asked softly as Emily took a step backwards.

"Do what?" Emily whispered her heart in her throat.

"Move away from me. Do you regret it that badly that you can't stand to be near me?" She stopped in her tracks and glared at Emily. _Don't cry!_ She told herself over and over as her heart was breaking.

"I don't regret anything." Emily told her standing at the threshold of the door. Half of her wanted to run but the other half was stuck watching emotions play on Jennifer Jareau's face. First she saw fear but now it was confusion.

JJ took a shaky step forward as her eyes locked with Emily's. "Then why?"

Emily licked her bottom lip then bit down on it slightly as JJ's blue orbs darted from her browns to her lips. Her heart quickened but she took a step towards the blonde slowly invading her personal space. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes" JJ breathed.

Emily smiled then pushed JJ to the wall behind her with gentle hands. "Because every time you touch me I want to push you against the nearest wall and fuck you." She had no clue where her confidence was coming from. If JJ was just a regular woman it would be fine Emily did have confidence like those situations but JJ wasn't. Emily found her badass ways faded when JJ was present.

JJ swallowed the lump in her throat and locked eyes once again as her hands hung by her sides unsure if she could touch her now though Emily's hands held her waist. She didn't expect the words Emily spoke but she couldn't help the way it turned her on. "Do it then." JJ couldn't believe the words just came out of her mouth.

Emily gasped in the inch of space between them then threw everything out the window and crashed her lips to JJ's. Emily pushed her body into JJ's as their tongues met and fought for dominance. The blonde's hands finally reached up and held Emily's face making sure she wouldn't stop, JJ couldn't get enough. Emily pulled back slightly but kept their body's touching and their foreheads resting against the other's.

"Open your eyes Jen." Her husky tone sent chills don't JJ's spine as their eyes met. Emily bit her lip seeing the emotions play in JJ's eyes. "Will you…"

"JJ, I have the…" Hotch's voice broke the two women apart as quickly as their feet could move "… last of your forms." Hotch took in the appearance of the two women. JJ was standing awkwardly by her desk with her hand over her mouth and Emily was looking at the floor across the room. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Oh, no sir. I was just on my way out." Emily said moving to the door. "I'll talk to you later Jayje." She added looking at the blonde.

JJ smiled as she went then turned her attention to Hotch.

**A/N: Hotch has such bad timing! Hehe! Let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: You are blowing me away with the support for this story. Thank you so much! It makes a girl feel good!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters.**

Emily paced back and forth outside of JJ's apartment. After leaving the office she couldn't get her mind off of the blonde. The kiss they shared left her mind reeling and the only thing she could think of to do was go straight to JJ's and finish what they started. But now that she was standing outside her door the nerves in her stomach wouldn't stop and she kept psyching herself out every time she raised her hand to knock.

She knew she was putting her heart on the line here but from the reaction she got out of JJ earlier she was okay in doing so. Shaking her head and taking a deep breath she raised her arm once again but before she could knock the door opened.

JJ opened the door and smiled at Emily. The brunette opened her mouth so say something but nothing came out so JJ pulled the door back and let Emily enter. After closing it JJ turned to Emily. "I was wondering when you would get the guts to knock but I got tired of waiting." The smirk on her face sent a flush up Emily's pale cheeks. She'd been caught.

"I just…" Emily tried but failed as her voice trailed off.

"It's okay. Would you like a drink?" JJ offered leading the woman into the kitchen. JJ had hoped the other woman would call or come see her earlier that day after Hotch interrupted things but by the time JJ left the FBI building for the last time Emily was already leaving. It took hours that afternoon to get her attention on the things needing it other than the kiss that left goose bumps on her skin. "Red or white?" she held up two bottles of wine.

"Red please. Is Henry here?" she asked out of curiosity just in case what she wanted to happen could if the boy wasn't there.

"Will just picked him up for the weekend. Here you go." JJ handed her the glass and had to shake off the feeling in her gut as their hands touched just briefly.

"How is Henry taking to two different homes?" they settled in on the couch. Emily on one end and JJ on the other but both were facing each other.

"He's only three so I don't think he knows what's going on except that he's with Mommy or Daddy. Will and I still have a good relationship so he doesn't hear us fight or anything like that." JJ answered but really only wanted to throw herself onto Emily and ravish her like the first time.

"Well that's good. So many kids these…"

"Are we really going to talk about my son all night?" JJ interrupted her patients wearing thin.

Emily's jaw dropped slightly but she closed her mouth before too long. Setting her wine glass down on the coffee table she sheathed her nerves and looked into those bright blue orbs. "What do you want to talk about, Jen?"

JJ loved the way Emily would call her Jen. She never before called her anything but JJ and it sent sparks of desire to her core. "What if I don't want to talk?" JJ countered a hint of amusement in her voice.

Emily's head hung and her eyes closed. She was holding in her fight to just grab JJ and fuck her right there on the couch but she didn't want that. JJ deserved more. JJ deserved to be cherished and loved, that's what Emily wanted. Before Emily could look up JJ was walking around the coffee table and standing in front of her.

"Emily" JJ whispered waiting for Emily to meet her gaze and when she did JJ gently took her hand and pulled her up off the couch.

With their body's inches away from the other Emily met JJ's gaze and smiled. "Jen, I don't know…" once again she was interrupted but this time it wasn't Hotch but JJ herself with her lips crashing into Emily's.

The kiss was deep and wet as hands groped and pulled making sure they were as close as possible. JJ's breath ghosted across Emily's cheek as they split for a second to take Emily's jacket off. Hearing it land on the ground Emily went back in, her teeth nipping at JJ's bottom lip earning her a moan from JJ and her hips grinding into her own. Her mind was on overload as JJ slipped her soft hands under Emily's shirt exploring the heated skin of her lower back.

"Jayje, wait" Emily's voice didn't even sound like her own as lust and want flooded her body. JJ's eyes darkened darted from her mouth to her eyes but her hands never moved away. "I want…" she couldn't think to articulate what she really wanted. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her knees trembled. It was all so new for Emily she didn't know what was wrong with her.

"What do you want?" JJ pleaded just wanting to feel Emily's lips on her once again.

"Shit" Emily cursed putting a foot between them and effectively getting JJ's hands off her before she did something she would've done with any other woman. But she couldn't do that now. This was JJ.

"Emily, what's wrong? I thought this is what you wanted." JJ hadn't a clue as to what was going on and her temper was rising along with her arousal.

Slowing her breathing Emily looked up. "I want you to go on a date with me." She said it so quietly she wasn't sure if JJ heard her but JJ stopped her from repeating it with a hand in the air.

"A date? Like a really date?" JJ asked shocked. At Emily's nod JJ frowned. "You don't date, Emily." after saying it she flinched at her own voice. It was stern but she didn't mean it that way. She was just confused.

"I know." Emily replied.

"Then why?"

"I don't want to just sleep with you Jayje."

JJ's frown deepened. "Why not?" JJ wasn't objecting to Emily proposal just wanted to know why the sudden change.

Emily turned away and ran a hand through her dark hair. "Because you're not like those other women. You mean more to me than that."

At the confession JJ stalked up behind the brunette and pulled Emily around to face her then kissed her again. It was softer and lighter this time, only their lips meeting and caressing the others. As it broke away JJ nodded. "I will."

Emily grinned then kissed her again. "Good"

"Good" JJ smiled back.

…

Emily frowned in the round table room. Hotch had called in for another case and she knew it would cause her to miss the date she set up with JJ. After the rest of the team piled out of the room she hung back and pulled out her cell. She moved it from hand to hand silently trying to think of what to say.

Years ago when she first started in the BAU she was dating a woman who got pissed every time she had to cancel plans due to work and it happened often. That was one down fall to the job but as she continued with work she stuck to affairs with no strings so she didn't hurt anyone involved but now JJ was involved and she prayed JJ would understand.

"Hey Princess, you coming?" Morgan walked back in the room noticing Emily was still sitting there. "Something wrong?"

"Oh, no." she smiled. "I just need to call JJ real fast." She clamped her mouth shut as fast as possible. She wasn't planning on telling anyone about the two of them but the last part just came out on its own accord.

"Why?" he smiled smugly. "Gotta break a date?" he slid into the chair next to hers and tapped the table with his fingers.

"Who told you?" she asked clearly not getting away from this one.

"Garcia can't keep secrets from me. Plus when Jayje called her she was jumping around like a kid at Christmas."

She laughed. "Probably. So since you're here and you know, how do I do this?"

"Do what?" he acted dumb waiting to hear the words.

"Morgan" she groaned. "I've never dated someone like Jayje before and I really don't want to screw it up. Is she going to hate me if I break our date?"

"Okay, okay" he chuckled. "Just tell her you have a case. Jayje will be fine with it. She knows what it's like. And by the way, good catch." He grinned and left.

Shaking her head in amusement Emily dialed JJ's number.

"_Jareau"_

"Hey it's me." Emily smiled hearing JJ's voice. It had been a few days since their last time together at JJ's apartment and she missed seeing her every day at work.

"_Hey what's up?" JJ's heart quickened as she stood up in her new office and closed her door. _

"Just know I'm sorry." Emily started out.

"_Got a case?" JJ frowned even though Emily wouldn't be able to see it._

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be home by tomorrow. Can I call when I know for sure?" the hopefulness in her voice made JJ smile.

"_Of course. How is everything going by the way?" she was curious as to how the team was doing since she was gone._

"Okay I guess. I saw Garcia take your name card down earlier from your door." Emily said remembering how sad the analyst looked.

"_I'll call her later to see if she's okay. But I guess you better get going, huh?"_

"Yeah, the guys are getting their things together. I'll see you later." Emily hated having to hang up.

"_Be safe. Talk later."_

The phone went dead and Emily frowned but as Hotch yelled up for her she pocketed her phone and grabbed her go bag. Another serial killer to find.

…

Landing four days later Emily immediately called JJ and asked her to meet for drinks at the local bar they normally go to. But unknown to her the rest of the team was headed out for drinks at the same bar. Upon entering Emily cursed under her breath as she caught sight of Morgan, Reid and Rossi all sitting around a table enjoying their drinks. About to hall ass out of there she was spotted and called over. Plastering a fake smile on her face she sat down and ordered a drink.

"What brings you out on this fine night?" Morgan asked with a knowing smirk.

"I'm meeting a friend." She said taking a sip of her drink.

"Who?" Morgan pried.

Emily glared him then turned to Rossi. "So what are you gentlemen doing?" normally she didn't mind the teasing from Morgan but JJ was going to be there any minute and she didn't want him teasing her. Emily didn't even know if JJ wanted people to know they were going on a date. _Way to get a head of yourself!_ She berated. They were only going on one date. She couldn't say anything else would happen even if she hoped it would.

Conversation carried on for a few minutes but Emily wasn't really paying attention. Her focus was on the door. And when she saw JJ enter a goofy grin crossed her face and she abruptly stood up and excused herself from the men.

"Hey" she met JJ near another table. Her eyes nearly fell out of their sockets as she took in the deep blue dress and matching pumps JJ sported. All her curves very well on display and her dazzling eyes sparked in the dim lighting. Her hair was down with a subtle clip on one side holding her long bangs out of her face. "You look amazing."

JJ blushed at the compliment. "Thanks, so do you." Emily was wearing dress pants and red silk top that showed just enough cleavage to have all the men and women drooling. "Is that Morgan… and Reid and Rossi?" JJ's head cocked to the side.

Emily looked over her shoulder and frowned. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't know they would be here but we can go somewhere else if you want."

JJ smiled and gently smoothed her hand down Emily's arm. "No, its fine. But I think I better go say hi before they chase us down."

Emily nodded and followed the blonde hoping her stomach would settle before JJ touched her again. The guys all stood and greeted JJ as another round of drinks were sent their way. Rossi pulled Emily away as JJ took a seat next to Reid and started in on her new position at the Pentagon.

"You and JJ?" he questioned. He knew for a fact JJ didn't dress up just to have drinks with the girls. Something was up.

Emily looked at JJ then back at the man who was like a father to her. "Kind of. This was supposed to be a date but now…" she motioned to the table.

"Sorry kid. We can get out of here."

"No, it's fine plus she misses everyone." Emily told him ending the conversation and rejoining the table. Minutes later JJ stood up and pulled at Emily's arm. Emily followed as JJ led her to the small dance floor. Only a few couples where dancing besides Morgan and the flocks of girls around him. It seemed like every time they came here he was with a ton of girls.

JJ smirked pulling Emily in close to her and wrapping her arms around the agent's neck. "Having a good time?"

Emily chuckled grasping the blonde waist and slowly moving her feet to the music and JJ's set rhythm. "Now I am. I really am sorry about the guys. Sucks as a first date."

"Who said this is a date?"

Emily frowned. "Huh?"

"This is more… foreplay. Our date is going to be romantic and quiet and most of all alone." She grinned as Emily's breath stopped for a moment.

"Alone." Emily smiled in agreement. "Very alone."

**A/N: Do you want a date next? Hmmm….**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts. They are very encouraging!**

Two days later JJ stood in her closet with a discouraging frown on her face. She had nothing to wear. Sure she had a few nice dresses but Emily had seen her in all of them but she wanted their first date to be special. After the bar debacle JJ told Emily to not worry about the date, it was going to be perfect no matter what but now she realized she was wrong. Flustered with herself she groaned plopping down to the floor.

"Momma what's wrong?" Henry's voice put a smile on her face and she turned to see him standing at the doorway with his trains in his hands.

"Momma is just frustrated. I can't find anything to wear." she stood scooping him up and kissed his pudgy little cheek making him wipe it off with a scowl.

"Yuck Momma"

"My kisses aren't yuck." She protested then kissed him again making a loud smacking sound.

"No more!" he squealed his blonde hair blocking his eyes from her view.

"Okay fine." She set him down. "Can you help me find a nice dress to wear? I want to look pretty."

He nodded and pushed his way into the closet with his hand on his chin and his finger tapping his cheek in deep thought surely a move he learned from all his time spent with Reid. JJ giggled at his antics but followed dutifully behind him. After scouring the whole closet he pointed to a black strapless dress hanging in the corner.

"Pretty" he said petting the dress.

"You think?" JJ took it off the rail and held it out for him to inspect. It was one she hadn't worn in a while so it might just be perfect. She smiled as he looked over it with an expert eye then smiled widely and shook his head.

"Pretty" he said again.

"Thanks sweetie. I think it is too. Can you go finish playing so Momma can get dressed?" he nodded and flew from the room. JJ smiled after him and set to get ready.

…

Emily's stomach was protesting the crackers she had just eaten. All day she had been so nervous about her date with JJ that she didn't dare eat a single thing but when she got home from work she had a few crackers to try to settle her stomach but now she was regretting it. She felt like knifes where being stabbed into her.

She hadn't been on a real date in years and the fact that her first one in so long was with the woman who could very well break her heart in two, only made it worse. JJ had reassured her that tonight was going to go smoothly and told her not to worry but that didn't help. She could screw it up and not only loose a beautiful woman but her best friend as well.

Looking in the mirror over the bathroom sink she took a deep breath and gazed down at her choice of attire with a critiquing eye. Emily was not one to wear dresses just because her job didn't allow for it and she didn't care much about dressing up when she picked women up mainly for the fact it was easier to get out of jeans then some zipper/clasp/ribbon dress thing, but on this occasion she wore a green knee length dress that had a beaded circle on the front that allowed for her cleavage to be shown off more. The straps wrapped around her neck and the back of the dress sat low on her back. Making sure her makeup was set she left the bathroom and grabbed her clutch purse and left the apartment.

Twenty minutes later Emily pulled up in front of JJ's apartment and turned her car off. She looked up at the building and blew a breath out getting her nerves under control. "You can do this." She whispered to herself climbing out of the car and heading to JJ's door.

She knocked and waited trying hard not to pick at her nails, a nervous habit that she had been trying for years to kick.

JJ pulled the door open with a smile. "Hey"

"Wow. Are you ready?" Emily asked openly ogling JJ and her long tanned legs.

"Yeah babysitter just got here so let me get my purse." She opened the door wider as Emily passed her. JJ itched to pull her into a kiss but the sitter and her son were just inside the apartment.

"Emmy!" Henry squealed running right up to her with chocolate on his hands and face.

"Whoa there kid." She caught him at arm's length with a laugh. "Your gonna get me dirty."

"Momma I wanna go with Emmy!" he said with a smile.

Emily pouted up at JJ. "Henry, you can't come this time. Plus Jill's here. You really liked playing with her last time." JJ reminded her son pulling him away from Emily and her nice _clean_ dress.

"But I wanna go." Henry looked back to Emily for help but she just turned her lips inward to stop the grin that was sure to form on her face.

"Sorry sweetie. Emily and I are going out without little boys tonight but maybe Emily can come over this weekend and play with us." JJ said then mentally slapped herself for thinking that far ahead but glancing at the smile on Emily's face she was safe for thinking about more time together. She just hoped it wasn't just as friends.

…

Finally leaving a sad Henry behind JJ and Emily made it to the restaurant. Their table was in the corner which Emily was happy about. She didn't want to think about anyone else but JJ and from the corner no one could see them and vise versa.

While ordering a bottle of wine and their meals JJ watch as Emily fidgeted slightly in her chair. "Are you okay?" she leaned over asking in a whisper.

Emily smiled and stilled her movements. "Yeah, I'm just really nervous." She confessed knowing JJ could probably tell.

"Why?" JJ asked with a soft smile of her own.

Emily shrugged. "I don't date so this is all kind of new for me."

JJ leaned back with a grin. It was sweet that Emily was so nervous. It meant she cared. "Don't be nervous. It's just me. I don't think you could screw it up even if you tried. Plus I'm nervous too."

"Why? It's just me." She shot back at the blonde. JJ's smile dropped and Emily sat up concerned she already blew it. "Jayje?"

"I've never dated a woman or had feelings for one before. I'm just trying to go with the flow but I'm still confused." JJ said quietly feeling very vulnerable.

Emily mashed her lips together. "I know you are and I'm sorry for that. I wish I knew how you felt but I don't so take your time. I don't want to push you or make you uncomfortable in any way." She reassured with a soft smile.

"Thank you" JJ smiled back and relaxed a bit more.

The waiter came back with wine and the women sipped quietly eyeing the other for a few minutes. The air between seem to evaporate leaving both breathless as lust and desire boiled their blood. JJ noticed Emily's eyes darken making her heart race. With a light flush to her cheeks she turned her eyes away. "Stop" she whispered.

"Stop what?" Emily grinned raising an eyebrow loving the fact that she can openly drool over her and not be embarrassed.

JJ glanced at her then turn away again. "Stop staring at me."

Emily chuckled. "I can't help it. Your beautiful." That earned Emily a small nudge under the table by JJ's foot. "I'm sorry." She said but didn't mean at all. It wasn't her fault JJ looked the way she did and she couldn't keep her eyes off.

"Sure you are." JJ rolled her eyes. "What did you do today?" she asked trying to change the subject and get Emily actively joined in a conversation so her heart could slow to a pace that wouldn't send her to an early grave.

"I really don't remember. I couldn't concentrate." Emily admitted leaning forward letting her elbow rest on the table but her eyes never left JJ's.

"Emily, please stop. I can't concentrate right _now_ with you staring like that."

"Like what?" Emily played.

"Like you want to devour me." She whispered.

"I do" JJ's breath caught in her throat as Emily's hand reached over and clasped her own. Luckily the waiter came over with their food breaking them apart. Silence came over them as they tried their dishes, each in their own little worlds.

Comfortable with her surroundings and with Emily JJ reached over like she would normally do and stole a bite of Emily's chicken. She brought it to her lips and hummed in appreciation. Emily bit back a groan and smiled.

"Good?"

"Very" JJ nodded. After that conversation came easily. They enjoyed the others company and the stroke of JJ's foot on Emily's calf under the table and Emily's thumb rubbing circles on JJ's palm only proved how comfortable they were . By the end of their meal both had had enough foreplay as JJ called it.

Deciding to head out JJ pulled Emily away from the car and they strolled hand in hand down the empty sidewalk. Silence settled in again but it was nice as night settled into the city, lights and noise scattered around then.

"Emily, why don't you date? I know the job gets in the way but…" JJ asked stopping them and turning to face the brunette.

Emily licked her lips. "It's just easier I guess. I don't have to worry about hurting anyone if I have to cancel plans or… I don't know. It's hard to explain."

"You don't have to." JJ said seeing Emily struggle to find words. Emily was a very closed off person but as the years went by JJ learned more and more about her. They had a lot in common probably why they remained close friends.

Emily smiled. "Let's go" she tugged at JJ glad to dodge the question.

"I don't want to go home yet." JJ bit her bottom lip waiting for Emily to understand what she wanted.

"We won't." Emily kissed her softly and led her to the car.

Walking into Emily's apartment JJ set her purse down and slipped off her heels. "Wanna drink?" Emily asked doing the same.

"Yes please. I'm going to call the sitter real fast." JJ walked into the hall to make her call.

Emily watched for a second then headed to the kitchen. She opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses. Just as she was about to turn around two hands wrapped around her waist and a blonde head sat on her shoulder. Emily smiled at the affection. "Henry okay?"

"Yeah" JJ whispered then kissed Emily's neck just once.

Emily shivered as her breath washed over the sensitive skin by her ear. She swallowed thickly then turned to see JJ's bright eyes swirling with emotion. Moving slowly Emily leaned in and kissed JJ's lips. Lips she had been dreaming of. Soft and full. Perfect fit for her own.

JJ moaned softly as Emily took over grasping at her hips and pulling their bodies close. She wrapped her own in Emily's dark locks and around her neck securing herself to the other woman. Emily ghosted her hand to JJ's back and found the zipper to her dress. Lowering it slowly her other hand trailed down the heated skin. The blonde arched into her and giggled.

Emily pulled back and frowned. "Your hands are cold. Sorry." JJ giggled again.

"Sorry" Emily smiled. JJ's giggles where getting to her. It was so good to hear them. Moving her hands away from JJ's back she rubbed them together making them both laugh again.

"Here, come with me." JJ said seductively grabbing her hands and walking them to the living room. They settled in on the couch as close as they could get. Their eyes locked as JJ ran her hands over Emily's.

"Warm now?" Emily asked with amusement.

JJ nodded then kissed her thin fingers. "Perfect"

Emily's insides clenched as she watched JJ kiss one hand then the other. The desire and longing she saw in the blonde's eyes swallowed her whole. She quickly moved her hands and grabbed JJ by the back of the head and kissed her.

"In a hurry?" JJ smiled against her lips moving her body off the couch and slipped her open dress off then straddled Emily.

"Just a bit." Emily grinned kissing a trail down the blonde's neck to her chest. The black lace bra hid nothing from her heated gaze as she lowered the straps and JJ's breast spilled out. "We might need to move to the bedroom." She said licking and kissing the pinked skin before her.

"Can't" JJ breathed but effectively moved off Emily and laid back on the couch. Emily moved over her with a predatory grin. "Dress off" JJ kissed her mouth moving her hands to pull at the green fabric.

Emily stood and quickly removed her clothes. "Better?"

"Very" JJ hummed taking in her body. She remembered most of their first time together but Emily's body was more gorgeous than her mind imagined. Curves that made JJ's mouth water and perfect skin she wanted to touch and memorize. JJ kissed everywhere she could reach and nearly sobbed as Emily did the same.

Emily whispered in her ear as she lowered her hand down JJ's body followed closely by her mouth. The words were lost to her as her eyes rolled up and she gasped for breath as Emily brought her higher and higher to that perfect edge of passion. And when JJ was able to move again she pushed Emily back onto the couch and devoured her just as Emily's eyes wanted to earlier. Getting moans and whispered curses as she learned what made Emily's panted breath hitch in her throat or what got a deep moan that came from deep inside let her know she was doing fine. JJ kissed and licked her way around the brunette's body until finally giving in and drove Emily into paradise.

…

Emily drew lazy circles over the blonde's back as JJ laid her head on her chest. Their hearts finally slowed and their breathing came back. "You okay?" Emily asked after several silent minutes.

JJ moved to look up at her with a satisfied smile on her lips. "I'm perfect."

"You are." Emily agreed biting at her bottom lip. The taste of the blonde was still there. In fact her whole body hummed from all the places she touched, kissed, and nipped.

JJ rolled her eyes at Emily and kissed her in the valley between her breasts. "Stop saying things like that."

"Why?" Emily held back a moan as JJ continued her path.

"Because you make me feel all girly and crap."

"You are all girly and crap." Emily laughed pulling the other woman to her face. "Plus you should feel special; I haven't ever said things like that before. I don't get in the habit of tell women sappy things."

"Why not?" JJ asked. It still baffled her that a woman as wonderful as Emily didn't form attachments to anyone. Did she not realize how loving she really was?

Emily thought for a moment then smiled. "I didn't want them the way I want you." She was careful with her words. She wanted JJ to know she meant a lot to the agent but at the same time she didn't want to reveal that she was totally and irrevocably in love with her.

"What makes me different?" JJ heart beat faster.

"You ask a lot of questions." Emily chuckled then sobered gazing into those blue eyes that were pleading with her soul. "You make me want more. No one's ever done that before."

JJ smiled a brilliant smile then kissed her lips.

**A/N: Up next a little team ragging! Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I feel I might have to explain this chapter just a bit. It is set before and after 6x07 'Middle Man'. And if you don't remember it it's where exotic dancers are found dead in corn fields. That's all you really need to know. I know a little weird but you'll get it soon. And the first part hits on my favorite scene from Emily in 4x14. Basically this chapter is just goofy and fun.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

Emily stepped off the elevator and walked into the bullpen of the BAU with her second cup of coffee in hand and a pounding headache from a late night with JJ. They just had their fourth date the night before and for all of Emily worries everything was going wonderful. Emily ends up spending more time at the blonde's then her own home but that was fine with her.

Just as she was about to take a sip of the dark liquid in her hand a squeal from across the room hit her ears and made her look up. Garcia sat at Emily's desk with a huge grin curving her lips. She clapped her hand together as Emily rolled her eyes and shook her head. She had half a mind to just turn around and walk away but seeing how the analyst was at her desk she couldn't.

"Tell me everything!" Garcia said getting Morgan and Reid's attention as well.

"About what?" Emily said absent mindedly setting her bag down and moved a few files around. She had no intention of tell anyone anything that went on between her and JJ. Every date they went on the exuberant technical analyst cornered her and grilled her about everything and every time Emily didn't say anything. She didn't want her relationship up for anyone to comment on. Luckily Garcia didn't know about the time she spent at the blonde's when they weren't technically on a date.

"Please don't tease me. I really want to know and besides Jayje will probably call me anyways."

"Then wait for her." Emily tapped the arm of the chair telling the woman to get out of her work space.

"Emily, please. Just tell me you had a great time and you are falling in love with my blonde gumdrop and a wedding is in the future." Garcia quickly said letting Emily at her chair but not moving away like the brunette wanted.

"Whoa, no one said anything about a wedding." Emily held up her hand. Hell it had only been a few dates, fantastic dates but not enough to start talking about weddings. She wasn't even ready to talk about the 'L' word yet. Sure she felt it but it was way too soon for that. Rushing into a relationship is not anything she wanted and JJ was still figuring out things for herself too.

"Oh come on Princess. Just give her something. She's never gonna stop if you don't." Morgan chipped in tired of hearing about the exploits of JJ and Emily from Garcia. Next to him Reid let out a hum in agreement.

Emily growled under her breath. "Fine, we had a great time. There you go that's all I'm giving you." She abruptly stood up and took to the steps of the catwalk leading to the round table room.

"Fine but I don't think you put enough _Splenda_ in your coffee this morning, Miss Grumpy Pants!" Garcia yelled after her.

Emily shook her head with a smirk and entered the room. It was still hard to not see JJ in there in the mornings setting out their case files and leading them through the cases. It had been a few weeks and Hotch and Garcia had been handling the extra work well but Emily knew they were both missing the blonde. JJ brought so much light to the dark world they lived everyday catching these criminals and the team was still trying to find that balance.

She took her regular seat and looked over the file in front of her as the rest of the team slowly made their way in. Reid took his spot across from her and Morgan nudged her chair over so he could get in next to her. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the two of them darting glances at each other then chuckling. "Boys would you like a minute to yourselves?" she rolled her eyes.

"No they wouldn't." Hotch came in from behind them and stalked to the front of the room where the screen stood followed closely by Rossi. "Garcia, would you care to take a seat?" he asked.

Emily looked up from her file and glared at the woman who was standing behind her with a glare of her own.

"No sir. I can't yet." Garcia said in a serious tone. Emily expected the wrath of Hotch to come down on the woman but instead he let her disobedience pass.

"Why not?" he raised a brow.

"Sir, she won't tell me and I need to know."

"Garcia, I told you it went great what more do you want?" Emily murmured not wanting the whole room to know what was really going on. She liked her privacy.

"Prentiss, something you need to share with the group?" Emily turned her glare on her boss. Hotch held back the hint of a smile that wanted to show as he leaned over the table and raised his closed hand to Prentiss. "Maybe this will help."

Emily eyed him then the hand. Shaking her head in confusion she held out her hand and two small yellow packets fell into her palm. Glancing at them then at Hotch Emily cursed under her breath. "Splenda? That's not funny." She told Hotch who was smiling widely now and the rest of her team peeled out into laughs.

"And if that's not enough here's some more." Rossi stood up and handed her some more. "That should work."

Emily lean back in her chair leaving the packets of sweetener on the table and cleared her throat as everyone gathered themselves. "Just know payback is a bitch."

…

"Daddy yet?" Henry ran into the kitchen for the fourth time in the last twenty minutes.

"Honey, Daddy will be here soon." JJ smirked down at the blonde boy while she was elbows deep into a sink of dishes. Will was due to pick up Henry at any minute then Emily would be there for some alone time. Dating a FBI agent who travels every other day it seems was harder than she thought. All the time Will whined about her not being home and she blew it off was not kicking her square in the jaw.

Emily did her best but they had only been on a few dates and the rest of the time Emily would show up late and leave early. JJ wasn't about to complain about it but she wanted to see Emily more. And now she felt like she owed Will an apology for being so dismissive.

"Fine!" Henry stomped out of the kitchen causing JJ to chuckle at him. Henry was another thing she felt she needed to talk to Will about also. Over the past few weeks Emily spent more time with JJ and Henry then she did before. JJ was worried that Will didn't approve of Emily more of the fact that their little boy might ask questions or might have one of those 'Kids say the darndest things' moments and Will won't know what to say or how to handle it so JJ was preparing to tell him when he picked up Henry.

Just as JJ put the last dish away the door bell rang and in entered Will. "Hey, ya home?"

"Yeah, just a second." JJ called drying her hands. She could hear the pounding of little feet and a few squeals as Henry greeted his dad. She made her way to them in the living room. "Hey"

"Hey Jayje." Will smiled his handsome smile and picked Henry up.

"Daddy, go?"

JJ pouted. She hated that Henry wanted to leave so badly but spending days with two women he probably needed the testosterone. "Sweetie, can I talk to daddy real fast? Can you go get your bag from your room?"

"Okay, Daddy, stay." The blonde boy ran off.

"What's up Jay?" Will sat down on the couch.

"I just kind of wanted to, I don't know, warn you I guess. I'm seeing someone and Henry knows. I just didn't want him to say something and you not know."

"Oh, that's great. Is Henry taken to 'em?"

JJ bit her lip. "Yeah he is. It's Emily." she waited for his reaction. He was confused at first then it dawned on him.

"Emily Prentiss?" at her nod his eyes went wide. "Oh"

JJ chuckled. "Yeah, I just didn't want Henry to ask a question or something and you not be prepared for it. He seems fine with it and you know how much he likes her anyways."

"Uh… I guess you got me speechless." He laughed. "So I turned you off men for good huh?"

They both laughed. "No, I'm not really sure where it can from but I'm happy. She makes me happy."

Will just looked at her for a moment. "Do you think it will last?"

His question struck JJ for a minute. "How do you mean?" she raised a brow.

He held his hands up in defense. "I don't mean anything… it's just when Henry gets older"

"Stop. Will, you are a wonderful, kind, and decent man but don't start something that you're going to regret." JJ told him in a serious voice even she didn't know she had. She wasn't sure exactly where he was going with the question but if she could guess it wasn't going to be nice.

"I'm sorry Jayje. I really didn't mean nothing by it. I just want the best for Henry." He said.

"What's best for our son is to have two happy parents and love. We both love him more than anything and I'm happy. And if Emily is a part of that so be it. I haven't once questioned you about who you date. Please don't start doing it to me." Her tone softened as a blonde head bounced behind the couch. Then Henry jumped up with a smile on his face.

"Boo"

They both laughed and dived in for a round of tickles. "Jayje, I'm sorry. Your right. I am glad you're happy." Will told her as they moved to the door and she kissed her little boy goodbye.

"Thanks"

…

"Jen?" Emily yelled out as she unlocked JJ's door and went in. Three days away proved harder than she expected. The more time she spent with JJ the more she hated being away.

"In here!" Emily smiled setting down her bag and followed the voice to the bedroom but upon entering she stopped. Her eyes went wide and her breath caught in her throat. "Wha…"

"Well hello there. Would you like to take a seat? Your lap dance will start soon." JJ sauntered over clad in a sheer light blue babydoll that was opened right below the breasts with a matching pair of panties.

Emily gathered her senses quickly. "What's this?" she motioned to the chair placed in the middle of the room.

JJ laced her arms behind Emily's neck bringing their bodies close. "Garcia might have mentioned that the case involved strippers and that you and Spence went to a strip club with tons of beautiful women. I just want to remind you of what you have right in front of you." She whispered huskily into Emily's ear as she slipped her hands inside the agent's jacket and dropped it to the ground.

Emily chuckled as JJ kissed the sensitive skin below her ear then made a trail to her lips. "Do you think I'll forget?" she whispered back resting her hands on the blonde's hips.

"I don't know. Would you?" JJ asked pulling back.

"No" Emily kissed her wrapping her arms tighter around the woman who held her heart.

"You're not going to get your lap dance if you don't stop." JJ chuckled deeply. "Go sit down."

Emily licked her lips then did as she was told. She blew out a breath and swallowed thickly as JJ moved to the CD player and hitting a button. Soon the room was filled with music and JJ's hips were swaying back and forth. Emily's jaw dropped as the blonde moved closer and gave her a show she was never expecting.

**A/N: Let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you to all of you still reviewing. It is very much appreciated. They keep me on track and writing. I know many fics tend to skip holidays and such and I was planning on doing that also but since I'm still following the timeline of season 6 I decided to add in some holidays. I hope you like!**

It was only a matter of time, Emily thought hanging up the phone. Fall holidays were getting nearer, Thanksgiving just a week away and Christmas right around the corner, but she was hoping her parents would forget to come state side this year and leave her on her own. No such luck. And from the phone call she just received from the Ambassador it was mandatory that she be at Thanksgiving.

Normally she would give in and go but this year she had JJ. And under no uncertain circumstances was she going to subject her girlfriend to a Prentiss Thanksgiving. Heck she wouldn't even subject the worst serial killer she caught this year to a Prentiss Thanksgiving.

Her mother was a mad woman this time of year. Making sure everything was just perfect and forgetting her manners along the way. Prentiss Thanksgivings where mainly for show. All her mother's rich snobby friends came to show off and gossip. Emily learned early on not to bring a date as she was the token lesbian for them all to whisper about and dates tended to take offence to that but she didn't because she knew that it didn't matter what they thought. She just hated being there period.

Her father was no better though. He sat at the head of the table with scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other talking golf and politics to his so called 'long time buddies' but he barely knew any of their full names. Again for show.

But as she tried to explain to her mother Emily had no urge to push JJ into any of that so she would either not show, which her mother would kill her for later, or go alone.

Gathering up her things she pushed the thoughts of her family aside and relished in the fact that in less than thirty minutes she would be with her girlfriend and their best friend for a night of fun. Fun nowadays consisted of staying in and opening a bottle of wine but as long as JJ was next to her she couldn't care a less.

Tossing her go bag at the door she closed JJ's apartment door hearing the giggles of the blonde and Garcia coming from the kitchen. Emily smiled stepping through the threshold as JJ was sitting on the counter with a glass of wine in one hand and her other over her mouth as she giggled like a schoolgirl. She loved seeing JJ so care free. Her new job suited her even if JJ hated not being around her friends. She had more time off and Emily knew what more time with Henry meant to the blonde. The boy was thriving being with his mom every night for dinner and bedtime and spending whole weekends playing anything he wanted with her. And in return JJ seemed less stressed.

"Hey love muffin!" Garcia spotted her first waving her in.

Emily smiled and scooted in next to JJ. "What are you laughing about?" she asked pouring her own wine and tossing her suit jacket onto the counter.

"Nothing" JJ smiled looking a little guilty for Emily's likings.

"Really?" she raised a brow. Garcia laughed behind her as Emily stood between JJ's legs both hands on either of the blonde's thighs.

JJ licked her lips trying to think of a way out of the question. Telling Emily they were just swapping dirty stories about their significant others was not going to end well. "Really" JJ promised leaning down and kissed Emily softly.

"I don't believe you _but_ I will let it go." Emily grinned.

"You guys are just too cute!" Garcia squealed. "So when is the wedding?"

Emily rolled her brown eyes taking a sip from her glass. "Don't give my girlfriend any ideas please." She said nonchalantly.

JJ's jaw dropped and she stared at Emily. It was the first time either of them had called the other 'girlfriend out loud'. It wasn't a huge deal but it meant a lot, to JJ at least. Sure she had been thinking Emily as her girlfriend for weeks now, ever since she gave the brunette a lap dance, but Emily saying it made it real. The night she put on Emily's private show she learned Emily tended to talk in her sleep and she might have said a few words that made JJ's heart race and tears swell in her eyes. She would never mention it to Emily but that night she knew she was falling in love. Even with all the confusion about her sexual orientation she knew Emily was it for her. But now as Emily called her, her girlfriend, she was coming to the same conclusion once again.

"Em" Garcia saw the look on JJ's face and pointed it out for Emily.

Emily turned and her eyes went wide as a few tears escaped JJ's blue eyes. "Jen, what's wrong?" basic instinct took over as she visually check to make sure JJ was okay before running her hands down JJ's arms for any physical hurt.

"You said girlfriend" JJ choked out fighting the urge to pull her into a kiss that would lead them into the bedroom but Garcia was standing there so she fought it.

Emily breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled. "You are my girlfriend."

"I know but you never said it." JJ smiled and wiped her cheeks embarrassed that she started crying.

"I promise I'll say it again." Emily kissed her lips then backed away before it led to more.

Garcia stood with her hand over her heart and her mouth in a big grin. "See, there needs to be a wedding!"

This time both Emily and JJ rolled their eyes.

…

JJ bit her lip so she wouldn't laugh. Emily hated getting up in the morning but as soon as Will dropped Henry off the morning after girl's night, the boy went straight to her bedroom and was trying his hardest to wake the agent.

"Peas, get up." His small hands twirled the brunette's hair as he sat on her back. All he got in return was a muffled groan.

"Henry, I don't think it's gonna work. Emily's tired. She stayed up too long with Auntie Pen last night." JJ told him walking into the room with a cup of coffee for the sleeping woman.

"But I play." His little bottom lip came out.

JJ smirked. "I know you do. Can Momma play with you?" Henry eyed her for a minute seeing what he had to work with then reluctantly nodded. JJ smiled and picked him up just as Emily's eyes blinked open. "Morning sleepyhead, coffee's here." JJ set the mug on the night stand next to Emily then took Henry and left the room.

"Play trucks?" Henry asked and at his mother's nod he ran to his room to get his toys.

JJ moved the coffee table for more open room for Henry to race his cars and got a coffee mug for herself. "Hey sorry he woke you. He was too excited you were here." she said as Emily walked out of her room, the disheveled look making JJ's eyes greedy.

"It's okay. I needed to get up anyways." Emily kissed JJ on the forehead then went for more coffee.

"Emmy!" Henry ran out of his room and into Emily's open arms. Luckily she was expecting it. For weeks now she had become his favorite playmate which suited her just fine. Before it was a hit or miss kind of situation with the young boy but now he couldn't wait to see her.

Emily never thought of herself as a parent and by no means was she Henry's but having him around made her think more about it. Growing up she never had a good role model of a parent, as her's were too busy with their own careers, so she told herself kids were never an option. JJ changed that though. The blonde was a wonderful mother and as Emily watched mother and son together she was realizing if her future held children in it she wanted JJ at her side.

After getting Henry settled in playing with his trucks and trains Emily pulled JJ into her and locked their hands together. Her mother's call was still on her mind from the day before but she wasn't sure how JJ would take her not wanting to take JJ with her to her parents. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Emily asked figuring that would be a good way to go.

"Oh yeah," JJ smirked like a light bulb just clicked on in her head "my parents are coming here and I meant to ask a week ago but would you please join us?" JJ's bright eyes pegged Emily's heart.

"If I can somehow get out of going to my parents then I would love to."

JJ's smile fell away. "Oh, I didn't know you were going to your parents. I thought they were overseas."

Emily shrugged like it was no big deal but she knew it was. She just wanted to lessen the blow. "They were but my mom called yesterday and told me I had to be there for Thanksgiving. They always come back to the states for holidays."

"Well if you get done with them you are more than welcome to come by and see us." JJ tried to hide the hurt. Even after Emily explained her parents were here she still didn't even ask about JJ going with her. JJ knew she would probably decline as Henry would have to go too but Emily could've asked.

"I'll try my best. Trust me I don't want to be there at all but my mother would have a coronary if I skipped out." Emily kissed JJ's cheek. "Have you told your parents about me?" it dawned on her that JJ might not have even told her parents she was dating a woman.

"I told them I was dating someone. I haven't seen them in months and I didn't want to tell them over the phone I'm dating a woman." JJ told her. "I'm not trying to hide it or anything but I thought it would be best if it was in person. How was it when you told your parents you were a lesbian?" she was actually curious. She knew Emily didn't have a great relationship with her parents but any pointers as to how to tell her own parents would be great.

"I didn't really tell them. I think they always knew. In high school I didn't date. I was in different countries so often that I didn't get a chance and I was away for college right after. But the one time I did introduce my parents to a woman I was dating neither of them said much. And that was twenty some years ago." Emily emptied her coffee and set the mug down.

"So you seriously never dated a guy before? Even when you were young?"

"No, I went to an all girls school my junior and senior years so there weren't any guys around and by that time I think I already knew I wasn't interested in them. Plus I had the biggest crush on Sandy Walters." Emily grinned.

"Who was Sandy Walters?" JJ smiled up as Emily got a goofy look on her face.

"Well Sandy was a girl in my class. She had long blonde hair and the greenest eyes I'd ever seen and she was the queen bee if you know what I mean. Every girl I knew wanted to be her friend but I just wanted to bang her." JJ quickly slapped a hand over Emily's mouth then darted her eyes from Emily to her innocent son who was playing a few feet away. "Sorry" Emily mumbled.

"Keep it clean please." JJ laughed.

"Anyways, she was hot and she was my first real crush." Emily shrugged.

"Did you ever… you know" JJ raised a brow.

"No, but I did see her at my high school reunion and she gained a bunch of weight. Wasn't so hot anymore. Kind of ruined my fantasy." Emily pouted.

"Too bad" JJ laughed.

"Who was your first crush?" Emily countered finding herself in a playful mood as they forgot about the earlier topics.

"I was a lot younger than you but my sister had a group of friends that came over all the time and Paul was one of them. He was quiet dreamy for a twelve year old I must say." JJ joked leaning into Emily's arms.

"Wasn't your sister like years older than you?" Emily smirked.

"Yep I was only eight at the time but I knew I was going to marry Paul."

…

JJ adored her parents. They were every child's dream parents. They encouraged her, supported her and loved her more than anything. She never wanted as a child but in a good way. She learned her parents weren't rich in money but very wealthy in other ventures. Her father coached her soccer team and her mother was at every bake sale possible.

But telling them that their little girl who for however many years had been with men was now with a woman was expected to be rough. JJ had wished she could've introduced them to Emily first then explained it all but Emily left for work before JJ's parents showed up the day before Thanksgiving.

"Please say something?" JJ begged watching her mother's face contort into confusion. Her father wasn't far behind.

"I guess we just don't understand Honey." Mary Jareau said looking to her husband for help or understanding.

"Jennifer, can you just say that again?"

"I'm dating a woman. Her name is Emily. She worked with me at the BAU. Mom, Dad please understand I was as confused by this as you were but I love her. She knows and understands me better than anyone I know. And I do the same for her." JJ's heart sank a little. Emily had told her to give her parents time to understand but she needed them to know what Emily meant to her.

"You're in love with a woman?" her father Daniel asked.

"Yes, I am. She makes me so happy. Happier than I ever was with Will." JJ reached out and took her mother's hand.

"Sweetheart, I'm not sure what you need to hear from us because you are very capable of making choices for yourself but I know you can't help who you fall in love with. It's the heart's way. And if she makes you happy then I'm happy too. I love you Jennifer." Mary hugged her daughter tightly.

"Thanks mom, I love you too." JJ's hopes picked up. If her mother was okay with this then her father would be too.

"I-uh… I'll be back." Daniel stood up and walked out the front door of JJ's apartment. JJ's felt the tears coming.

"Don't cry honey. He just needs time." Mary urged. But JJ couldn't help it as tears fell and a sob came from deep in her chest. She knew that look on her father's face. He was upset and confused and that tugged on her heart. In a blur, as her eyes filled with tears, she was lifted off the couch and into familiar arms.

"I'm here Jen. I'm here." Emily's voice filled her ears and another sob choked out.

**A/N: Next chapter more of JJ's family and Thanksgiving. Please leave a few words letting me know what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thank you for the reviews! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

JJ dried her tears as Emily's arms wrapped around her pulling her close. The comfort she felt in those arms and in the woman holding her seeped into her bones. Emily had a way of calming her whether she was upset or hurt or just plain angry. Glancing up she took in a deep breath getting her emotions in check. She didn't want to lose it in front of her parents but this was a big deal for her and by her father walking away her fear of rejection was all that ran through her mind.

"Jayje don't cry. They just need time to see your still you." Emily's words made a small smile cross her lips.

"I know. It's just…" she shrugged not knowing how to articulate what she felt.

"I know Jen." Emily whispered conscious of the older woman standing behind her. When she was coming up the steps to JJ's apartment minutes ago an older man barged out of her door nearly taking Emily down with him but she side stepped and made it into the apartment. Seeing her girlfriend in tears sent a desire to protect straight through her body. All she knew to do was hold her though. Emily was completely inexperienced when it can to family fights or family dynamics in general. She didn't fight with her parents. They just didn't talk at all.

"Jennifer" her mother's voice broke through and JJ looked up first meeting Emily's dark gaze then her mother's worried brow.

"Mom this is Emily. Em, this is my mother Mary." JJ extracted herself from Emily's arms then stood up from the couch.

Emily kept their hands locked in a tight squeeze suddenly she was as nervous as JJ was. She had never met the parents before. "Hello, it's nice to meet you." She smiled genuinely. She didn't know exactly what happened before she walked in the door but she wasn't going to start accusing or give a bad impression.

"It's very nice to meet you too, dear." Mary smiled warmly walking up and giving Emily a hug not only surprising the brunette but also JJ who raised a brow at her mother.

Emily darted a glance at JJ as Mary backed away. "Um… JJ talks a lot about you." This was awful. She was going to fail JJ. Her parents were going to hate her and tell JJ not to waist her time with a woman like her.

"I'm sorry you came in at a bad time. This was not how I wanted to meet you but…" Mary trailed off as the apartment door opened and Daniel Jareau walked back in. Emily felt JJ tense so she stroked her thumb over her skin on their intertwined hands. "Honey, why don't you and I get a drink in the kitchen so Jennifer and her father can chat?" Mary pulled Emily with her.

Emily locked eyes with JJ for a second making sure she would be okay and with the blonde's slight nod Emily went without a fight.

JJ gazed at the cream colored carpet on the floor below her as her stomach rolled. She didn't know how to explain anymore to her father that she was still his daughter no matter who she chose to spend her life with. And she really didn't want to.

"Jennifer, I'm sorry I walked away. That was me being a coward." Daniel started out.

"I understand you're confused. I really do get that, dad." Suddenly she felt ten years old again getting in trouble for not cleaning her room. She lifted her eyes from the floor slowly making it to his face. She relaxed a little as his face was soft and in his eyes she only saw the love he had for her. They had always been close. Daddy's little girl was an understatement. Even after her sister passed away her father went out of his way to make sure JJ grew up in a solid loving family.

"I know you do. This was all a big surprise and I'm not sure how to handle it."

"You don't have to handle it, dad. You can be confused and take your time coming around but I just want you to realize that I finally found someone who not only accepts me as I am but also my son with open arms. Emily has the biggest heart anyone could have. She's fiercely protective of her friends and family and she would do anything for me. Dad, you can't ask for much more." JJ walked up to him and kissed his cheek. "I hope that is something you can understand." She didn't need to hear anything more from him so she made her way into the kitchen to see Emily being told how to properly stuff a turkey.

Emily felt her presence before she saw her. Her eyes flickered to the living room then back at her girlfriend asking silently how it went and when JJ just shrugged Emily smiled sadly at her. She hated that JJ had to defend herself to anyone but to her own father it just seemed wrong. Emily was glad for once her parents were her parents. They didn't care much who Emily dated.

"Oh and I can teach you how to make Jennifer's favorite pie too." Mary snapped Emily and JJ from their daze and back at the work at hand.

"Mom, I don't think Emily really wants to know how to make pie."

"Jen, its ok I would love to help anyway I can." Emily reassured Mary with a smile.

…

JJ watched from her bathroom threshold as Emily sat on her bed reading a book. The small movement of her mouth made JJ smile. Emily only did that is she was completely into what she was reading. Emotions over took her at that moment, she wanted this for the rest of her life. She wanted to come home to her son and to Emily every night. She wanted to walk into her bedroom and see the brunette there.

Clearing her throat and getting the woman's attention she stalked towards the bed. Nervously biting at her lip she gazed into those dark depths that could very well see into her soul. With a vulnerable smile she sat on the edge of the bed and took Emily's hand in hers.

Emily's stomach did a flip. The look in JJ's eyes confused her. She'd never seen it before and all she could think was JJ was about to break her heart in two. Before she could object JJ took a breath and opened her mouth.

"Thank you for today. Thank you for getting off early and coming here. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't here with me."

Emily sighed in relief. "It really wasn't that big of a deal. Hotch was going to let us go early anyways I just beat him to the punch. And just so you know you would have been fine without me. You have wonderful parents, Jen. They love you and just want what's best."

"I know they do but you gave me the strength to be me. I'm still not sure where this leaves me within my sexual orientation, you know, but I do know I want to be with you." Emily smiled and leaned forward for a kiss which JJ gave in to.

"I love you, Emily."

It was so simply said but it took Emily's breath away. Never in her wildest dreams would Jennifer Jareau ever utter those words to her. Emily's heart pounded in her chest as her mouth opened then snapped closed. Admittedly Emily had never said those words to anyone before nor had anyone said them to her and at this moment she didn't have a clue as to what to say.

The shock on Emily's face haunted JJ's mind. Was she wrong? Did the brunette not feel the same? Now worried that she just screwed up JJ was about to retract her statement when Emily's hand came up to her cheek.

Emily wiped the tear that ran down the blonde's face away. "I love you, too." the brilliant smile that formed on her girlfriend's mouth took her breath away again.

Relief washed over the blonde as she leaned down and took Emily's lips with her own. Passion and love powered the kiss as Emily ran her hands up JJ's arms to the back of her head pulling her down on top of her. Emily's book was soon thrown to the floor without another though.

…

Emily scooped Henry up from his grandfather's lap. She hated to leave now but her mother had already called threatening everything she could just so Emily would come to their Thanksgiving dinner. But she was glad she got to spend the morning with JJ and Henry.

The morning started with Henry bouncing around as usual as JJ pulled the brunette from bed. The three of them sat down for a quick breakfast then JJ's parents came over. Cooking started from there. Turkey, stuffing, casseroles and side dishes filled the small countertop. Emily carefully watched the interaction between JJ and her parents. It still amazed her how loving they were with each other. Hugs were given just because and compliments flowed between the three.

In Emily's home growing up it was hard enough to capture either of her parent's attention let alone receive any physical form of affection. She couldn't remember the last time her mother hugged her. There must have been an unspoken rule of no touching. A little jealousy nipped at her when Mary wrapped her arm around JJ as they talked watching Henry entertain his grandfather. She wished she had that. She wanted that mother daughter relationship.

And even after the day before when her girlfriend revealed to her parents that she was involved with a woman and the little meltdown that came afterwards JJ's father seemed to accept it all and happily joined in on spending the holiday with his daughter. Emily was relieved their relationship was intact and neither was too damaged. She wouldn't know how to help JJ get through if her father had more of an objection.

Emily kissed Henry's head. "I'll see you later sweetie." she really was forming quite the attachment to the boy.

"I go too?" His little blue eyes tugged at her heart.

"Not this time, Henry but I'll be back tomorrow." Emily kissed him again then let him down. Turning her attention to Daniel she gave him a tight nod, still not sure what he thinks of her, and a smile.

"It was nice meeting you, Emily." Daniel stood and held his hand out. Emily shook it then did the same to Mary. But when the older woman pulled her into a tight hug Emily locked eyes with JJ. The smile on her face told Emily she was being accepted into the family.

"It was so nice meeting you. You must come with Jennifer to visit soon." Mary smiled.

"I will. Sorry I can't stay longer but my mother is probably blowing a gasket right now."

"Not a problem."

Emily took JJ's hand and walked with her to the door. "I'll call you later." Emily kissed her cheek.

"Sure." JJ shrugged. She was still angry that Emily hadn't even invited her to go to her parents. Even though she wouldn't be able to go, due to her family and Henry, it stung that Emily didn't care enough to ask. But after the night before she didn't want to bring it up. It would only cause issues.

Emily's known for not sharing her feelings often so when she does it's a big deal. JJ is the total opposite though. She would let anyone know what's on her mind but she kept her lips sealed this time and let it just simmered underneath.

"Okay, well have a good time with your parents." Emily let go of her hand and reached for the doorknob.

"You too. Love you." JJ smiled as Emily turned and took her lips in a searing kiss then backed away and returned the words back to her.

**AN: We about to get into the thick of things so please stick with it. Remember this story is going along with season six so the Ian Doyle issue will be taking place soon. But just to warn you I have changed some things about it. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Ambassador Prentiss and her husband have definitely outdone themselves this year Emily mused as she wandered around the main hall of their home in DC. The decorations are beautiful yet elegant with the traditional colors of orange, brown, red and yellow wrapping the grand room in warmth that greatly contradicted the real feel of this house. Cold and lonely.

Simple center pieces of warm colored hydrangeas littered the six round tables with the perfectly decorated silver and fine china set just right. Emily laughingly thought about her mother walking behind the staff with a ruler making sure everything was set just right.

As she found her table she found her mother. "Mother, how are you?" she greeted pulling out her chair which was next to the Ambassador's.

"Oh Emily it was about time you came. Dinner will be served very soon so I guess you will make rounds afterwards since you decided to be late." Her mother spit out with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"I'm sorry Mother. I was at another engagement." Emily whispered harshly. She didn't understand why they couldn't have a normal conversation without being dismissive or hateful.

"What engagement is more important than this one?"

"If you must know I was with my girlfriend and her family." Emily spoke softly smiling across the table a few of her parent's friends. "Where's dad?" she added not seeing the man.

"Over with Senator Hudson. And I really don't think calling the women you have little affairs with girlfriends. Really Emily." the roll of her eyes just angered Emily more.

"Jayje's not an affair." Her teeth gritted together as her fists clenched in her lap.

"Well it's not a relationship. Can we not talk about this now? I see a few guests I forgot to greet." Ambassador Prentiss stood and took off across the room.

Emily shook her head and breathed out. Tense was an understatement when it involved her and her mother. Robert Prentiss was another case entirely though. As she glanced around she caught his eye and gave a small smile. He was the quiet one within the Prentiss family. Always doing as Emily's mother said, never speaking up for himself or for his daughter. While Emily questioned if her mother really loved her she knew he did, in his own way. As a young child Emily was with nannies constantly but every morning her father would find her at the breakfast table and kiss her head. Every morning without fail, well until she thought it was un-cool and asked him to stop.

"Emily, you look beautiful. How are you my darling?" His deep voice filled her ears as he stood behind her chair.

Emily stood with a smile. "I'm well thank you. You look very handsome." Her hands twisted together itching to hug him but that never happened. Even if he still kissed her head he never once hugged her.

"Thank you. Your mother told me you are in a relationship." Emily rolled her eyes. "Don't do that. You know how I feel about that and besides you look like your mother when you roll her eyes."

Emily stopped mid roll much to her father's amusement. "Won't happen again." she cracked a sheepish smile.

"When can we meet this Jayje?"

"Um… I-I don't know if that's a good idea." She stuttered slightly taken back. They never wanted anything to do with her personal life. Not once had they asked to meet any one she was seeing even though JJ was only her second real girlfriend, the rest were affairs like her mother said.

"I would really like to meet this woman. If she got you to settle down she must be special. Please Emily?" his dark eyes that mirrored hers got to her.

"Okay, when are you free?" she couldn't believe she gave in and now she had to explain to JJ why all of a sudden she wants her to meet the Ambassador and her father when she clearly didn't invite her to their thanksgiving.

"Tomorrow would be nice. Your mother is flying to Paris the day after next."

"Can't we do it then?" She gave smile hoping he would agree but knowing he wouldn't.

"Emily, I know she can be brutal but please try." At that she wanted to tell him where to shove his turkey. She try? Ha! When had her mother tried one bit to actually have a decent conversation with her only daughter? Never!

But she held her tongue and nodded. "Yes sir."

Dinner was soon served and typical chit chat took place over the Thanksgiving meal. Sitting at her table were close friend of her parents and a few high society politicians. None of them talked much to her but she sat with a fake smile on her face and nodded when needed to show her mother she wasn't just sulking in her chair. The older Prentiss woman laughed and talked amongst her friends and Emily's father drank and talked golf. She honestly didn't even know if he played golf. Tennis was more his thing.

After most everyone was done eating the room filled with talk as others roamed the room looking for the latest gossip. Emily stayed in her chair with her half filled wine glass just watching. It was rather comical the way the women went on one side of the room and the men gathered around a table on the other side. Music was playing but she couldn't hear it over the laughing from the women as they guessed who was richer.

Some people she knew stopped for a greeting but no one stayed long next to her. gathering up her wine glass and purse she left the room and wandered the rest of the house. It really was a beautiful house. Dark wood and rich paintings covering the walls but her favorite part of this particular house, the Prentiss owned 4 others, was the garden out back. it was always blooming with different flowers and covered in greens.

Leaving the house she pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Hewo" a tiny voice answered that put a smile on her face. Not the voice she expected but one that filled her with love just the same.

"Hi, Henry. What are you doing answering Momma's phone?"

"Emmy!" a joyful laugh busted out. Emily smile widened.

"Did you have a good time with your grandpa?" the older man dotted on Henry like no one else. And the boy loved every minute of it.

"Yup. You come home now?" Emily's heart swelled. Her home was really with JJ nowadays. She rarely went to her apartment anymore.

"Not tonight sweetie. Can I talk to your momma?"

"Yup. Bye Emmy."

"Bye Henry." A few seconds later JJ's voice filled the phone line.

"Hey you."

"Hey" Emily really didn't have a reason to call except to hear her girlfriend's voice. she knew she didn't dare bring up lunch with her parents until she was standing in front of the blonde. JJ was going to kill her.

"I love listening to you breathe but you called me remember or did you just want to talk to Henry?" the amusement in her voice made Emily grin like an idiot.

"Sorry, how was the rest of your evening?"

"Emily, what's wrong?"

If she was going to tell the truth Emily missed the atmosphere around JJ and her parents. The warmth and love but now all she felt was the bitter cold. And it was only getting colder. "I just miss you." She said.

The pause made her heart stop then JJ said "Why didn't you invite me to come with you?" she didn't hear anger but hurt. She had hurt JJ by not asking or talking to her about it.

Smacking her hand over her forehead she answered truthfully. "My parents are nothing like yours and their friends are even worse. They would eat us alive if I brought you. Luckily alone they leave me be and even though for once I really did want to bring someone I couldn't feed you to the wolves."

Another pause. "Emily, you don't have to protect me. I can handle people being rude. I do work with the media. I can handle myself."

"I know you can Jayje. But I don't know if I could handle these snobs talking or gossiping about you."

"Can we talk about this later? My parents are getting ready to leave and I really don't want to fight." JJ's voice was stern.

"Of course. I'm sorry I hurt you Jen. That was never my intention." Emily worried her bottom lip as JJ took her time answering.

"I know you didn't."

"Can I come over later? There is one other thing I need to discuss with you." Emily hoped JJ would kill her for the mess she made.

"Please do. By the way I miss you too. See you later."

"Bye" the phone went dead and Emily returned to the party.

A few more drinks later and feeling well on the tipsy side of things Emily poured herself in the back of a cab and gave the driver JJ's address. Leaning her head back she thought of how much she was going to have to beg JJ to come to lunch tomorrow. She knew a good girlfriend wouldn't show up empty handed to grovel but she didn't have the energy or brain power to stop to get anything.

Sliding out of the cab she paid her fair and stumbled to JJ's door. After a soft knock she opened the unlocked door and shut it behind her. JJ met her at the hallway. Through her drunken haze she could tell JJ looked upset.

"I'm sorry" it was all she knew to say. She screwed up but was willing to do anything to make it up to the blonde.

"You should be but its okay."

Emily's jaw dropped. She was getting off easy. "Really? Because I had this whole begging thing I was going to do and a few…" she licked her lips "sexual favors I was willing to give."

"When you put it that way." The blonde laughed. "I know you didn't do it to hurt me and that's your way of protecting me from your family but I want to understand it more than be upset about it. I know you don't have the best relationship with your parents but I want to know why."

She swallowed. "Can we just go back to the sex part?"

JJ rolled her eyes and took her girlfriends hand. They walked through the small apartment into JJ's bedroom. "See that bed?" she pointed and Emily nodded. "You won't get any action unless you start talking."

"Fine but you asked for it." She said as they entered the room and got comfortable. "I grew up with nannies. I didn't have a mother I had an Ambassador. I even called her that. Can you imagine a four year old calling her own mother Ambassador? I never called her mommy or mom. She never played with me or talked much with me." The tears welling in her eyes made JJ take her hand and give it an encouraging squeeze. "My dad would say a few words everyday but I never had any type of physical affection from them. They never once said I love you and I never said it to them. And the staff wasn't paid to form attachments with me and they never did. Sue was the closed thing to a parents I had and when my mother found out how attached to her I was she fired the woman. For most of my life I was alone." The tears didn't fall now and JJ held onto her a little tighter. "Today was the first time I saw them in months and the first words out of my mother's mouth were anger because I was minutes late. My father did come and say hello and we had a nice chat but no hug. No I missed you. They could go years without seeing me and they wouldn't care. Not one bit."

JJ wiped her own tears away then turned more towards Emily. "I didn't realize how distant you were from them. I'm sorry they don't see what an amazing daughter they have. Look at me." She pulled her chin up so dark eyes met hers. "You're not alone."

Emily's lip quivered slightly so JJ leaned in and kissed her. "I know I'm not." Emily whispered as their foreheads rested against the other.

"Thank you for telling me." They kissed again.

"There is something else." She paused. "My parents want to meet you… tomorrow… for lunch." She paused each time.

"What?" JJ's head snapped up.

"My father wants us all to have lunch tomorrow."

"Do you want to go?" JJ asked. Part of her wanted to go and yell at Emily's parents for hurting their daughter like this. No wonder Emily doesn't open up. But the other part wanted to stay away. The further away the best so they couldn't hurt Emily again.

"No but my father was very persistent. If you're okay with it then I will be too."

"Okay, I'll go."

…

JJ leaned over and placed her hand on Emily's nervously bouncing knee. Her girlfriend locked eyes with her so JJ smiled. "It's going to be fine."

A throat cleared from across the table. JJ looked up to see Both Emily's mother and her father staring at her. Emily stood and JJ was right behind her. Together they agreed to leave Henry out of this meeting earlier that morning. It was bad enough Emily was sick to her stomach thinking about all the ways her parents could hurt JJ let alone add a defenseless child in the mix.

"Mother, dad this is Jennifer Jareau. Jen this is Ambassador Prentiss and Robert Prentiss." Emily said with a tight smile. She had no clue how she was going to survive this.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Jareau." Emily's father said pulling out the chair for his wife. The restaurant they picked was nice enough for the Prentiss' to be seen at but not to fancy that Emily had to worry about dressing up.

"You too, sir. And it's Jayje." JJ smiled and Emily breathed out the breath she was holding.

Emily's mother stared JJ down for a moment then spoke. "We've met before?"

"Uh… yes ma'am. I helped work the case you brought to the BAU a few years ago." The blonde answered getting uncomfortable with the ambassador's eyes on her.

"That's right, you're the assistant." The woman smiled as Emily choked on her water.

"No mother Jayje was the media liaison for the BAU. And now she works at the Pentagon." Emily said defending her girlfriend.

"Oh, that's quite a leap from FBI to the Pentagon." The older woman muses.

"Well when you're the best at what you do you get noticed." Emily smiled lovingly at JJ.

"Anyone ready to order?" Robert chimed in.

After ordering their meals an awkward silence filled the air. JJ shifted in her seat several times and Emily's nervous knee started bouncing again. "This is great." Emily said dryly in JJ's ear. The blonde smiled at her and placed her hand on Emily's thigh.

"So Ambassador, Emily told me you leave for Paris tomorrow." JJ said trying hard to break the ice so to speak.

"Yes I do." The woman nodded.

"What for?" JJ insisted.

"I have a few conferences and meetings between now and Christmas."

"Oh, so will you be state side for Christmas?" JJ kept at it. She hated the awful tension built up between the three Prentiss'.

"Yes, we will. Emily you must come to our Christmas ball." The ambassador stated.

"Oh, sorry Mother Jayje's parents invited us to their home for Christmas." Emily lied getting a squeeze on her thigh.

"Em, I'm sure we can fit your parents in before or after though. Maybe we can all get together for dinner or something." JJ smiled getting an elbow from her girlfriend.

"That would be nice." Robert spoke up. JJ took a liking to the quiet man. He kept to himself for most of the meal but did put in a few words here and there letting everyone know he was paying attention which is more than JJ could say about the Ambassador. As the meal went on the woman smiled and waved to anyone who she might know. She even left the table at one point to talk with an 'old friend'. But as soon as their meal was finished Emily and Jayje said their goodbyes and left.

"Thank God we survived." Emily joked climbing in the driver's seat and starting the car.

"Em, it wasn't that bad. No one yelled or made a scene." JJ told her buckling her seat belt.

"That's because no one cares to actually carry on a conversation. Sometimes I would prefer if they would yell just to know their listening or care."

"I think they do care just in their own way. Maybe having Christmas with them wouldn't be a bad idea. We could always ask them over with my parents and have a big dinner." JJ suggested.

"If I can barely let you be around them do you really think I would let your parents meet them?" Emily scoffed at the idea.

"Fine, fine. Just think about it okay? Now about my sexual favors…"

**AN: Wasn't too bad right? Let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: This chapter is set at episode 13 'The Thirteenth Step' and the beginning of 14 'Sense Memory' of season 6. I will hit on the cases but that is not the main focus of this story. And if you have seen these episodes you will see some differences not mainly in this chapter but in the next few. Some of the things about the way they brought Doyle in on the show I didn't like so I did change some but not too much. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

Emily plopped down in her chair and set her go bag on her desk. It had been nearly a month since the lunch with her parents but luckily they decided to stay overseas for Christmas. Emily really didn't want to think about another stressful dinner with them when work had been crazy. The month of December had been as full as ever with the team taking on twice as many cases then in a normal month but Emily wasn't complaining.

It did take her away from JJ more but as things progressed between them Emily had basically moved in with her girlfriend and Henry bringing Sergio, her new cat, with her. And just last night they talked about finding a new place to settle down. The apartment was getting a bit cramped so Emily took it upon herself to take her blonde out salsa dancing and brought up the idea of moving. JJ had agreed with no objection.

"Prentiss, round room in ten." Hotch's booming voice cut into her coffee coma and she nodded in his direction then finished her drink.

She rounded the corner and bumped into Garcia. "How's it going stranger?"

Emily shrugged. "I'm a little tired. I went salsa dancing last night." She tells the blonde not mentioning that JJ agreed to find a bigger place for them. She sat up late just thinking about it. Moving in together was a big step but now purchasing a house of their own, putting down roots that would be permanent was something all new to her. In her heart she knew JJ was the one but to take this step terrified her but also excited her. She was making her own family.

"Oh my god, like I need another reason to find you amazing!" the blonde squealed as they took to the steps both laughing. "This call for you from a Sean McCallister came to my phone accidently." Garcia handed her a paper. "Sounded very hot and very important." The blonde added.

Emily looked at the paper seeing a name she swore she would never see, hear, or speak again. "Did he leave a message?" she barely got out as her mind raced with reasons why her former Interpol boss would call her out of the blue.

"Ah, no but it's from Paris…" the blonde ramblings didn't even make it to Emily's ears as her blood pumped think of the last time she saw this man. The last time she saw _them_.

As Garcia stopped Emily nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." Only knowing what she thought she heard she hoped that would be enough but as the blonde asked for more Emily brushed her off and went for her chair in the round table room. Thankfully Rossi asked about the new in training agent that Emily happily agreed to be her training agent.

Seconds later Hotch passed out a new case. Spree killers in Miles City, Montana. Emily tried her best to follow along with the case as everyone chipped in but her mind was still on her missed call. She couldn't even picture his face it had been so long but Sean calling her only meant bad news.

Soon the case went front and center as another killing happened and they got moved to another city. Emily pushed all thoughts of the call behind and focused on finding the Bonnie and Clyde wanna-bees.

…

Emily's hand trembled as she reached for the door of the restaurant. After receiving the missed call note from Garcia Sean McCallister also texted her throughout the case. When the team finally caught up with the Unsubs she called him back and set a time to meet. But now standing outside her stomach was in knots and her head pounded with a stress headache. Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath then pushed the door open. She couldn't ignore this forever though she wished she could.

She smiled seeing the man. For so long he was one of her friends and family and it really was good to see him but she still knew something was up. They greeted with a hug then sat down. Emily's stomach turned at the look on his face.

"Ian Doyle vanished from prison." Sean's words hit her making her head spin, the one name that could tear her life into shreds. The deep dark past that no one, not even JJ, knew about. "Interpol can't find him."

"What are you saying?" tears brimmed her eyes but she didn't let them fall. She knew something like this was going to happen. The minute Sean McCallister's name came out of Garcia's mouth she knew.

"He's off the grid Emily." Sean attempted to take her hand but she quickly pulled away.

"Do you think he's headed here?" all that flashed in her mind was a picture of JJ and Henry. She had to protect them… at all costs. The man just stared at her. Sean didn't need to answer she knew. "Am I in danger?" Emily choked out as her heart beat out of her chest realizing what this could mean not only to her but to her new found family.

"We all are." She could tell the man in front of her was in as much shock as she was. True, Ian Doyle would only know her face but there were more to her team than just her. The whole JTF-12 team would be on his hit list.

Gathering her coat and purse she gazed at him. "Goodbye Sean." She turned and walked straight out. She didn't need to know anymore.

Getting in her car she tossed her belongings over and held the steering wheel tight in her grip. No matter what, she had to calm herself in order to go home. At first she thought to just go to her apartment and make up an excuse to JJ however as she thought about her girlfriend she knew she had to see the blonde, to hold her. Deciding to go to JJ's she started the engine and pulled away not chancing a look back to see the man she just left.

Lights were out when she arrived home but it being so late she knew Henry would be asleep. Stepping out of her shoes and tossing her bag and coat down she walked quietly down the hall and stopped in front of Henry's door. She peaked in to see his tiny sleeping body in the bed and his thumb securely in his mouth. He doesn't suck his thumb often but when he sleeps it ends up there. But it was just too cute to stop him. JJ hated it and was trying everything to make him stop but at that moment Emily could bring herself to do it.

She closed his door after a few minutes and tip toed to her and JJ's room. The light was out as well so Emily creped in and shucked her clothes. She slid under the sheet and curled herself around her blonde.

"Hey, you're late." JJ smiled turning in her arms.

"Sorry, I had some paperwork I needed to get in. How was your day?" she debated with herself if she should tell JJ of the new threat in her life but decided it wasn't the time. And if she did tell her Emily wanted more information first.

"Not too bad. Work was work but Henry made you something at daycare today. I was kind of hurt he wanted to give it to you but he was insisting on it." JJ leaned and kissed her. Emily pulled her tight and took over the kiss. Soon hands were roaming and clothes were flying.

"Miss me?" JJ chuckled as Emily kissed her jaw and down her neck.

Emily groaned but couldn't put anything in words. Her mind was full of JJ. Only JJ. She trailed down her body leaving kisses and grazing teeth until she took a soft breast into her mouth. JJ moaned and arched her back pushing more of her body at Emily. Her hands pulled at dark hair making sure her girlfriend didn't stop. And she didn't. Emily worshiped her body like no one else ever had.

"More Em, please" JJ couldn't take anymore she needed Emily.

"More what, baby? Tell me." Emily hovered over her laying light kisses to her cheeks and nose. "Tell me baby."

"I need you please. I need you inside me." Her cries didn't stop until Emily ran her hand down and did what JJ wanted. She went slow, torturing the blonde. But it was so perfect she didn't want it to stop. Emily kissed every inch of the beautiful body laid out beneath her until she was at the apex of her thighs. Using her mouth and her fingers she tortured JJ until she was a moaning, sobbing mess. Then she let her girlfriend fly.

JJ's harsh pants seemed to go on forever but as they slowed the blonde pulled her girlfriend up to see her face. She gasped as Emily's eyes were full of tears. "Emily, what's wrong?"

Emily shook her head not able to put words together. She laid her head down on JJ's chest and quietly let the tears flow. She didn't know what would happen in the next few weeks but she did know this woman who opened her heart in so many ways was the only one who could make it all better. The only one that could make Emily whole.

"Baby, tell me." JJ kissed her head running her fingers through dark strands pushing her bangs back away from her eyes.

Emily looked up and gazed into deep blue eyes. "I love you, so much."

JJ's heart fluttered. "I love you too."

"I will always love you no matter what. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want you to know, really know, how much I love you." Emily eyes stared straight into JJ's soul.

Questions ran through the blonde's mind but all she could do was nod and kiss the woman laying over her.

…

Two days without another word about Doyle. Two days of wondering and planning. Two days of slowly pulling away from the only family that ever meant anything to her. Emily opened her apartment door and turned the alarm off with a few clicks. The only reason she was in her own apartment was because there was no word. It frightened her that no one contacted her with more information.

Opening her safe she took out one of the two large envelopes and sat at the table going through it. Pictures of her team fell out first. Sean, Tsia, and Clyde. Not all of the JTF-12 members but her closest ones. Then the picture of the man that haunted her dreams fell into her hands. Ian Doyle. Memories of that time filtered through her mind but as she heard rain falling outside she noticed a drip.

Grabbing her gun from the drawer next to the table she slowly searched the almost empty apartment. Room by room it was clear. She checked out the open window but nothing or no one was there. Drawing her gun to her belt she relaxed a little. For two days she had been on edge. Even JJ asked what was bothering her but she kept her mouth shut. She wouldn't go and scare her girlfriend and her son if Emily could help it.

She was startled as the phone rang out. Picking it up, she hesitated. Unknown caller. She let it go to voicemail but not one said a thing. It was him. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end and her body shook.

As the call ended she gathered her things and left the apartment. She wouldn't be back.

**AN: Do you think Emily should tell JJ what's really going on? Or kept everything hidden to protect her?**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Thanks you so much for reviewing. I love hearing your thoughts! Most of you were unanimous in Emily telling JJ what's going on so I guess we'll see what happens! :) This chapter is set during 'Coda'. **

Emily grabbed her coffee and took a table far enough away from the other patrons in the seating area but not so much that it could be his open window of opportunity. The night was cold and the dark was setting in as lights from street lamps and businesses lit up the DC sky. Her fingers wrapped around her cup letting the heat from the dark liquid seep into her bones. The bitter chill she felt was only slightly due to the weather. She knew what she was doing here and so did _he_.

The past week had been one headache after another. After she left her apartment for good she went to JJ's to find her girlfriend happily putting flowers, she supposedly sent, in a vase. But she didn't send JJ any flowers and as soon as she spotted the purple flower she knew it wasn't just her apartment he knew about. He knew about JJ too.

She quickly played it off to JJ but her gut turned with guilt. She was the cause of this. She played with the devil himself and now he was coming after her and the ones she loves most.

Soon after that Emily called long time friend and ex- team mate Tsia Mosely. The call didn't go anywhere except Tsia finding her fiancé and another team mate of JTF-12 dead. Emily had quickly told Tsia to get out of dodge and get to DC as soon as she could.

Emily focused her time on one case after another at the BAU and the rest of her time focusing on JJ and Henry. She convinced her girlfriend to stay in at night and to spend their time dotting on Henry but her mind was coming up with contingency plan after contingency plan.

Her first instinct was to leave and hope that Doyle would follow her and leave JJ alone. But then she thought of JJ having to protect Henry not knowing what or who was after them. The only reason Doyle was coming after her was to destroy her life, JJ included. So the plan to leave was put in the back of her mind and she revised it. And as she sat at the table waiting she thought of all her other plans. She wasn't empty handed.

She could use Tsia and Clyde Easter, another member, to hunt Doyle down before any harm could come to her family. Her BAU team was also in danger. She tried her best to distant herself from them, turning down offers to go to the movies with Reid and dinner with Rossi just to keep them safe. She couldn't be seen with them. He would know. He always knows.

Being a trained spy she knew how to find her targets and be undetected but she also knew when eyes were on her. For days now after an unknown text message saying 'See you soon' she knew he was watching. He watched her playing with Henry at the park and late at night when the house was asleep and she stayed up to watch her girlfriend sleep. He watched as she went to work and came home from a disturbing case to the arms of the woman she loved.

Many years ago when she first met Doyle she felt those same eyes watching her every move. He had to make sure she wasn't going to cross him. Which in reality was a joke of course she was. He was the terrorist she was sent to spy on and ultimately bring down. Going in as an arms dealer she played her cover well but kept intact her morals. Although her bosses wanted her to be more, do more she wouldn't give herself up for a criminal. No matter how much it could help.

But earning his trusted was on the table which she did. So much so he admitted many things to her one being his son. A sweet blonde headed boy with a smile that would make any woman's womb throb. Declan became part of her life as she dived deeper and deeper into Doyle's life. Then her job became protecting the boy and taking down his father.

A chill came over Emily as she was pulled from her head and back to the table she was sitting at. He was here. A hard hand on her back proved that. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried her best to calm the shaking over her nerves. But her trained body was on alert.

"I knew you were watching me." She said testing the waters. She knew at any moment he could fry her up for dinner but she also knew he liked to play with his food first. That's what he had been doing, playing with her mind. He was good at it too.

"What's the expression?" he mused from behind her still. "Keep your friends close and your enemies on surveillance?" the dry laugh that came out of his chest made she skin crawl. Never in her wildest dreams did she think he would ever find her but now that he was here some sense of calm came over her. Now she could see her enemy and take him down before he could harm her family.

"I've been here for two hours. You should know better that to keep a lady waiting." He finally took the seat in front of her and they stared at each other. Both thinking of ways to get what he or she wanted. Emily's hand rested in her lap with her concealed gun pointed at him.

"Seems hypocritical, seeing as I had to wait seven years." Honestly it didn't seem that long ago to Emily but she still saw him. In her nightmares when she would wake up screaming with her face wet with tears and her skin soaked with sweat, she saw him.

Emily sucked her lips in then took a breath she hadn't realized she was depriving herself of. "Hello Ian."

"Hello Lauren. Oh wait Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, didn't she?" It was true. After his arrest Emily's team helped stage her undercover ID's death. She had struggled for a while after going back to being Emily Prentiss but moving positions to the BAU helped. Being around JJ had helped.

"What do you want?" she asked not liking the game they were playing. Surely he didn't come here to broad over the past.

"You" her stomach rolled and she had to hold down the bile rising in the back of her throat. "Oh, not today." He chuckled. "Don't worry about that… but soon." Emily could see he was enjoying her reaction. She mentally berated herself for letting any emotion cross her face. She normally could play anyone, hell she did it for a living. She could cross any Unsub and make him think she was just another person. But this man, this one man could see everything and it scared her.

"I've got a glock leveled at your crotch. What's to stop me from taking you and the little one's out right now?" she gathered her confidence and glared at him.

A smile played at his lips. "You'll never make it back to your car and you know it. Tell me does the beautiful Jennifer know about you? Does she know who you really are? Or do you keep that one dark secret from her? I bet you do. I could always show her if you'd like."

Emily literally had to hold herself into the chair. Her free hand gripped the side rail and held tight. Emily's mind raced to make sure nothing was showing on her face but she couldn't help it. He just threatened the one person that meant anything at all to her.

"Come near my family and I will end you." She sneered with her finger on the trigger. She didn't care if she made it from the table. As long as JJ and Henry were safe she didn't care if she died.

"I don't have a problem with her but how long that remains the case depends entirely on you. Jayje and Henry are innocent… you are not." His jaw clenched. Emily heart beat wildly in her chest at the mention of Henry's name. An innocent little boy. Her innocent little boy.

"I was doing my job." She told him.

"You took the only thing that mattered to me so I'm going to take the only thing that matters to you." He paused as Emily stared daggers at him. "Your life" he finished.

She breathed a slight sigh of relief. He wasn't planning on going after JJ. He only wanted her. She almost spoke up to tell him to take her out now but he stood leaning over to give her a memento from her past that she immediately recognized from the bar they first met in. "I'm sorry for what happened to him." it was low so she didn't know if her heard her. She knew exactly what Doyle was talking about though. Declan. During the Interpol raid Emily was able to get his son out unharmed and unnoticed but his father was told he was dead.

"Save it. I will see you soon Emily Prentiss." He stood and quickly left.

Emily sat paralyzed. There wasn't much she could do. She would protect JJ and Henry at all costs but she would never give Declan back to his father. No matter what.

Taking out her phone she dialed the one person she trusted with JJ and Henry besides herself.

"Hello" his deep voice answered as her heart pounded in her ears.

"It's Emily. I need to talk to you."

…

JJ had just put Henry down when the apartment door was unlocked and a dreary looking Emily came in. The brunette tossed her bags down and took off her coat.

"Hey" JJ smiled but Emily stared at her for a moment then took her by the hand and silently led her to the couch. She knew something was up. Emily hadn't been herself for weeks now but tonight she could see fear in the brunette's eyes and it ate at her.

Emily turned her gaze on her girlfriend as they sat. She bit her bottom lip nervously as her stomach ached for her nerves to stop. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay" JJ swallowed. "What's wrong?"

Emily smiled sadly reaching up to move a loose strand of blonde hair from JJ's face. "You are so beautiful."

"Emily, cut the crap and tell me." JJ's body started to shake slightly.

"It's not crap when I tell you something like that. I want you to know how much I love you. How much you mean to me." She knew she was drawing it out but she didn't want everything that was about to happen go so fast that she didn't remember to tell JJ the important things.

"Are you breaking up with me?" It was the only thing running through her head. The love of her life was leaving her. Tears pulled at the corners of her eyes but she didn't let them fall.

"No, I'm not." That got a slight chuckle from the brunette. How JJ could think Emily didn't want her was beyond crazy.

"Just tell me." JJ grabbed at Emily's hands.

"Jen, I…" a knock at the door stopped her words. Emily stood and smiled at JJ then went to the door.

"Hey" a voice said from the other side but JJ could barely hear it from her seat on the couch.

"Come in. I just need a minute." Emily opened the door and let the guest in.

**AN: Yes I just did that sorry! But I promise to get the next chapter up tomorrow. The dialog is from the show but some of it is changed to fit this story. Instead of him threating the team he threatens JJ. Who do you think Emily called in for help? Hmmm…. **


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: This chapter is set during 'Valhalla'. It doesn't go into detail about the killings because that would just be me rewriting the episode but it does hit on the big points. Everything that happened in that episode happened in the story unless it's addressed in this chapter. I know that sounds confusing but just bear with it and if you have any questions feel free to ask.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

Emily checked the area around her making sure she wasn't followed. She had spent the night walking around the city. She knew it wasn't safe but she couldn't bear to go back to the empty apartment. It wasn't home anymore. It wasn't where she wanted to be.

Taking the escalator down along with a sea of people she made it to the subway platform. Her eyes darted from left to right as she weaved her way around the mass population all trying to start their day. The doors opened with a whoosh then she boarded and took a seat. She checked one last time around her then relaxed back into the seat. Emily's mind traveled back to just hours before remembering her girlfriend's face when she told her the truth.

"_Will, what are you doing here?" JJ stood from the couch as Emily and Will walked in from the door._

"_I think she needs to explain that." He said motioning to Emily as JJ frowned. She was now thoroughly confused. What Will had to do with anything she hadn't a clue. The blonde turned to her girlfriend with a raised brow. _

"_Jen, sit down." Emily took her hand and sat on the coffee table across from JJ on the couch. Will stood in the corner letting Emily get out what she needed. She really was lucky that the man didn't yell or bluntly turn her down when she called him. But she knew he would do anything to protect his son and ex. _

"_I'm getting scared so please Emily, tell me." JJ pressed, squeezing Emily's hand._

_Emily let out a breath and with one last glance at Will she started, "Before I joined the FBI I was part of a team within Interpol. I was sent undercover to get close to man named Ian Doyle." She stopped still unsure how far she was willing to let JJ in. "I was told to do whatever I had to do get into his business life but just being business partners didn't help to get what we needed so I had to infiltrate his personal life as well."_

"_You slept with him?" JJ couldn't believe what she was hearing. _

"_No I didn't. I never slept with him. He knew I was gay. I did however get him to take me under his wing so to speak. He trusted me and I…" again she stopped. The more people that knew about Declan the worse it could get but JJ needed to know. She needed to know why Emily did what she did. "He taught me all about his business and we became friends kind of. I was the only one he told about his son. And when we finally took him down I took his son."_

_JJ pulled her hand away and sat back against the couch a move that made Emily's insides clench. She needed the small connection to the blonde but JJ pulled away. "What's happening now? Why are you telling me all this?"_

"_Doyle escaped from prison and is coming for me. I hid his son but he thinks Declan is dead. I had to get Declan out of there. The life he would've led if I didn't would've been the same as his father's." Her heart was in her throat. The look on JJ's face was heartbreaking. _

"_What does Will have to do with this?" JJ shut her emotions down just trying to comprehend what was really going on._

"_I need you and Henry to go with Will. Take a trip somewhere and stay away from DC." Emily reached out for the blonde but JJ quickly stood up._

"_What? You want us to leave? Emily, we are your god damn family! I'm not leaving and I'm sure as hell not going to leave you here alone." JJ tried to breathe but her heart was racing so fast she thought she might be having a heart attack. _

"_You have to! You have to go Jennifer. This isn't a deliberation. You will not get what you want! You're going!" Emily grabbed her arm and lightly pushed her into the wall. "Listen to me. I cannot do what I need to do if you and Henry are here. Tonight I sat across from Doyle and your name came out of his mouth. I will not let that happen again." Her blood boiled and her heart raced. She wasn't going to let JJ win this one._

_JJ saw the fear in Emily's eyes once again. She glanced over at Will to see the same look on his face. "Henry will go but I can't leave you. Please Emily, I can't leave you."_

_Emily pushed back the tears threatening to fall and clenched her fists. Who was she kidding? She knew JJ wasn't going to go just like that. But she had to try. "Henry needs you. If something were to happen if you were with me I would never forgive myself. Henry needs his mother. Please Jen, do this for him." she looked to Will for some help._

"_Jayje, she's right. I can't raise him without you. He needs his Momma. And Emily needs to do this without you here. Please come with us." Will pleaded just like Emily. He knew what the brunette had to do and he didn't want his son anywhere near it. _

_JJ glanced between the two of them then to Henry's bedroom door. She was torn. A part of her wanted and needed to be here for Emily but the other half knew she had to go with Henry. He needed her more than Emily did but that didn't stop her own selfish need to make sure Emily didn't do something stupid. "What do you plan on doing?" her eyes bored into Emily's._

_Emily swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't think you…"_

"_I want to know. If you really want me to leave tell me." JJ told her._

"_When the time is right I'm going to end it before it gets started." Emily said vaguely. She definitely wasn't going to tell JJ exactly what she was going to do. She wouldn't put that in the blonde's mind._

_JJ pressed her lips in a tight line. "I'll go. I'll go with Henry and Will." She pushed passed the brunette and started gathering things together. "I assume we're leaving now?" she directed it to Will without a glance at Emily. She couldn't bear to see the heartbreak in Emily's eyes because she knew Emily saw the same in her own._

"_Yes, we are headed out as soon as you get you and Henry packed." JJ nodded then went to her room._

_Emily leaned back against the wall. Her emotions were slipping and honestly she didn't care if she was crying in front of Will. She was losing her family and she wasn't sure if this would be the last time she would see them. _

"_Emily, I promise to take care of them. You don't have to worry."_

"_I know. Thank you so much for this. I know it must be hard on you too but thank you." Emily said to Will then went into her shared bedroom with JJ. The blonde was throwing things from the closet to an open suitcase. Emily grasped her arm. "Jen"_

_JJ closed her eyes for a second then turned around."I can't do this. I can't be without you." Hot tears fell from her eyes._

"_Jen," Emily pulled her into a tight hug. "You have to. I need you to."_

_They stood in silence for a few minutes just holding each other. Their hearts beat as one and their lips caressed the soft skin they could reach. Slowly Emily turned and captured JJ's lips in a soft loving kiss leaving both of them breathless._

"_I love you" JJ whispered leaning her forehead to Emily's._

"_I love you too" the brunette whispered back._

Emily wiped the tear sliding down her cheek and cleared her throat. Her eyes felt heavy and she fought the sleep taking over her body but when Clyde takes the seat next to her she jolted awake shaking her head. Tsia soon joins them and its business as usual.

"Ian Doyle is here… in DC." She told them but she can see the disbelief and shock on their faces.

"How can you be so sure?" Clyde asked not wanting to believe her.

"I sat next to him last night." Emily shivered just thinking about it. She could replay the conversation over and over but every time she still got chills.

"What?" Tsia spit out looking around hoping no one heard her outburst.

"He threatened Jayje so I got her out."

"Is that wise?" the other woman asked.

"I don't know but I can't let her or Henry get hurt. I won't let him use them." Emily said with conviction. She might not make it out alive but JJ and Henry would.

"Why didn't he kill you?" Tsia wonders nervously playing with her coat.

"And more to the point why didn't you kill him?" Clyde's voice dropped deeper letting Emily know he was pissed. When you spend so much time with these people you learn their emotions just like they learn yours so Emily knew exactly what was running through his mind.

"He's not working alone." Emily shook her head.

"Maybe you should tell your team?" Tsia said making Emily cringe.

"No, no way. This isn't their fight. And I won't take that risk." The brunette thought about bringing her team in once before but they weren't a part of this. They're innocent just like JJ.

"We stay together we can get him." Tsia's voice was confident but looking at both Emily and Clyde she knew it wasn't true.

"We already tired. Look how that ended up." Emily said dismissively.

"Wait wait, when you went undercover I promised no one would harm you." Clyde tried.

"I'm not undercover anymore. DC isn't his comfort zone, it's mine. This ends here." she eyed both of the other agents then left the subway. They knew exactly what she was telling them. So she pulled out her phone to check the time then went to work as fast as she could.

…

She wasn't sure at first. It could have been anyone but after Reid held up the sketch of the tattoo from the gunman that tried to take down her and Morgan earlier that day Emily knew. She knew Doyle was behind the killings. She hid her recognition as well as she could from the team but now she had to deal with it. Garcia and Morgan were already on her trail so with a few sweet words that she really did mean to Garcia and a sisterly verbal slap for Morgan she shook them off.

But now standing over Tsia's body was a whole other cup of tea. She had told the woman to go there. She had told Tsia to get away from Clyde. And now Tsia was dead. Her stomach rolled with guilt and sorrow so she excused herself and fled the building.

As she wiped her face after empting her stomach Morgan came up behind her. She knew now he really was suspicious but she couldn't think about that. It was time. It was time to find Doyle. So making an excuse to get to her apartment Emily got in Morgan's SUV and calmed her nerves.

She needed to get under control so she could do what was needed. She high tailed it into her apartment which was bare except her safe. Grabbing an extra gun and a few papers she walked out once more after changing her clothes.

Morgan didn't say anything on the way back but Emily didn't either. Her mind was racing devising a plan. She hated going in without one but if she left herself open it might be better. Emily still didn't know where or how she was going to get to him though.

"We're here." Morgan said opening his door.

"Oh" Emily smiled weakly and exited the car.

"Stomach feeling better?"

"Yeah it is. Thank you for stopping. I appreciate it." Emily told him as they got in the elevator.

"Not a problem Princess." His smile made one form on her lips too.

Hotch was already starting the profile when they entered the BAU doors so Emily stayed back recognizing the opening for her to leave. It finally hit her. She wasn't only leaving JJ and Henry but an entire family she created here at the BAU.

Seaver was new but headed in the right direction. Emily was happy that she chose to help train the young woman. The FBI needed more women to help all these men out.

Then there was Rossi. The man who became a surrogate father to her. Quiet most of the time but wise and loving when she needed it the most. He helped her gain confidence not only at work but as a person.

Hotch, who stood next to Rossi, was the leader. A man that demanded respect but also gave it. She admired him probably the most. Maybe because he was most like her. Emotionless at times but never one to tare someone down. He might have lost his family for his job but she knew he would've given anything to keep it.

Morgan turned asking if she was okay. She nodded and tired to smile. He was her best friend. The protective brother but okay with pointing out your lies. He doesn't take bull shit and expects the best from the people around him. But beneath the hard exterior he was just a fluffy teddy bear.

Reid who was the youngest but also the bravest sat on his desk listening to every word Hotch said. Someone with an eidetic memory shouldn't have to see and hear the things they do every day but he does. He really is the brain of the team but is the best one out of them all. Innocent and sweet. The brother she always wanted.

Her attention went to Garcia next. The only woman who could make her giggle like a school girl. Penelope made her feel happy and loved. She was the one that made sure every team member had those good days that didn't seem to come around very often.

They were all a part of her. They were all her family. But now they were all in danger so without a second thought she fled. Emily turned and walked out those double glass doors and never looked back.

…

JJ held a sleeping Henry in her arms. After leaving her apartment, leaving her girlfriend she found herself in an off the grid airport that Emily told Will about. Emily really did have it all planned out. First they drove hours from DC to North Carolina just so Doyle couldn't track them at an airport in Virginia and now they are waiting to get the first flight out to California.

JJ rolled her eyes as Will told her they were taking Henry to Disney Land. So while her girlfriend was about to be killed she was happily playing with her son and Mickey Mouse? JJ scoffed at the idea. Yes she needed to be with her son but Emily needed her too.

"We are now boarding Flight 274 to Los Angeles California at gate 3." The flight attendant's voice rang over the loud speaker.

JJ looked at the line of people heading for the flight then she kissed her baby's head. "Will, can you carry him?" she asked. Will came over and picked the boy up and got him situated in his arms. JJ pushed back the tears that were surely going to fall and put a hand on Will's arm. "I can't go. I'm sorry."

"Jayje, we already discussed this. You have to go. She doesn't need you here." the man tried but he knew she wasn't listening.

"Yes she does. You can take Henry away and keep him safe. You are his father and I trust you. Now I need you to trust me. I need to go back and be with Emily." JJ told him. "She needs me."

**AN: So what do you think?**


	13. Chapter 13

JJ kissed Henry's head one last time then walked away without another word from her or Will. He knew he couldn't stop her, no one could. When JJ set her mind to something it wasn't changed easily. A few feet away she dug out her phone and dialed the only person she could think of that could help as her heart pounded in her chest.

"Hotchner"

"Hotch, its JJ. Don't let Emily out of your sight." Her voice was panicked thinking they'd be too late.

"She's gone already. Do you know what happened?" he sounded just as panicked.

JJ's heart sank, she was too late. "She's going after a man she put in prison years ago. His name is Ian Doyle."

"What? How does she know him? Jayje, where are you?" the question came fast as he realized what was really happening to his team.

"Before she was FBI she was at Interpol doing undercover to bring him down. But he's here to get her. He already threatened my life so she sent me and Henry away but I can't leave."

"Garcia is already tracing her. What else do you know about it?" she could hear the sound of people talking around him.

"She saved his son but he thinks the boy is dead. I don't know where he is but she hid Declan. Hotch, we have to find her. He can kill her." her emotions were rising standing in the middle of the airport with her hand to her head fighting off the headache coming on.

"Do you know where she might go or where he might be?"

"No, I don't know. I know they met in the states but I don't know where they'd go."

"Where are you?"

"In Carolina at an airport."

"Get a flight back here."

"Okay, I get home." she told him then hung up. She glanced around not really sure what she was looking for. "Damn it Emily" she cursed then dialed another number.

…

Emily knew where to go. Being taught by the man himself she learned everything there was to know about him. Where he would go, what he would do, why he would do it. Ian Doyle was smart. Planned things to a tee but she was smarter.

Pulling up outside of The Black Shamrock she watched as he left the small bar and got in his car. She glanced down as her phone rang. It was JJ. Her eyes closed voluntarily calming herself then answered.

"Jen, what are you doing? You should be on your plane." Her voice was stern. Her one fear was coming true. JJ hadn't left and now she had to not only worry about her own safety but JJ's as well.

"Where are you?"

"Jen, please get on that plane and get out of here." her lips pressed together and her hands clenched as Doyle's car pulled away. Quickly following she pulled her car around and speed up.

"Emily, tell me where you are. I need to know." The sadness laced in JJ's voice pierced her heart.

"I can't tell you. Just know I love you okay. I'm going to hang up now. I love you, Jennifer." She swallowed the emotion stuck in her throat and continued after Doyle. She knew he would stop soon. He had too.

…

"Garcia did you get her? Please tell me you did!" JJ asked into the phone after Emily hung up.

"I did. I just sent Hotch the address but it's in Boston. It might take us a while to get there though." The technical analyst said over the phone. "I'm glad she picked up with you. We've all been calling but she never answered."

"I honestly didn't know if she would. Okay so I'm grabbing a flight to Boston so tell Hotch I'll meet ya'll there." JJ looked around for the nearest ticket booth.

"Will do. See you soon." Garcia said then ended the call. JJ was relieved that Emily answered her call even if they hadn't been able to trace it she still needed to hear the brunette's voice. She needed to know Emily was still there.

JJ turned on her heel and started towards an open booth but stopped suddenly hearing a baby's cry. Her baby's cry. Looking towards the noise JJ's face drained of color as two men in black jeans and black coats stood on either side of Will who was holding a waking Henry in his arms. She glanced around but there was no way to get anyone's attention that wouldn't get Will or Henry hurt. Her first instinct was to scream and yell then kick their asses but as they came closer she could see a gun in the man on the right sides hand pointing at Will.

"Hello Ms. Jareau, we have someone who is just dying to meet you." The man with the gun sneered with a chuckle.

JJ's heart raced. Adrenaline and fear coursed through her veins as the one without a gun grabbed her arm. "Leave them here and I will go with you." She said giving anything to just have Henry safe. The nausea in her stomach threatened to come up looking into Will's eyes and seeing defeat. She wanted to take her son into her arms but didn't dare move.

"But you're such a good mother we wouldn't want to leave the lad without you." The man laughed again.

…

Emily bought her time watching as cars left the warehouse then came back. She wouldn't make her move until she knew for sure he was in there. She loaded her guns and stocked her knifes. Going in empty handed was not an option. She knew her chances. She knew she might not make it out alive but if she did everything in her power to help herself then maybe she would get to look into those blue eyes once again.

Three men walked out of the warehouse and piled into one car. From her calculations only Doyle and one other man were left inside now. Taking deep breaths to calm her nerves she climbed out of her car from across the street as the other car pulled out heading into the city. Slowly she moved forward keeping her eyes trained on her target but also looking around for any other threats.

Making it to the door she sighed in relief. Next she had to find him but she assumed that would be easy. She knew why he was at this building. Declan had died here or so his father thought. Opening the door slightly she held her glock up darting from side to side. All clear so she moved in. Low voices could be heard so she followed them. As she passed dark room after dark room she came closer to the voice. It was him she mused.

The last space on the right had a light on that showed the back of Ian Doyle. She smiled biting her bottom lip and trained her gun on him.

"Do you have them?" His deep voice said into the phone as Emily waited for him to turn. She wanted him to see who would kill him. Maybe it was her ego but she wanted him to know she was the one who pulled the trigger. "Good. How long?" Doyle started moving then turned but instead of shock from seeing her he smiled.

Emily frowned slightly but started pulling back on her trigger when she felt what he was smiling about. A gun barrel pressed into her head.

"Drop it." A man behind her said. Emily's skin chilled and her heart hammered. She held up her gun and glared at Doyle.

"About time you joined us." He smiled again before a hard hit from behind her made everything black.

…

Emily's eyes cracked open slightly. The light burned her eyes and her head pounded. Trying to move her arm to her head she froze. Tied to the chair she shook her arms and legs, panic setting in. She cursed herself then cursed him.

"Ah, you're awake. You've been out for a while." Doyle's voice filtered in from across the room.

Lifting her eyes from the floor as the light still burned she found his face. Around her everything was dark with only a single bulb hanging over her. He stepped closer and her body went on alert. Her hands tried her rope again and her legs pulled below her on the ties holding her down. Her legs were strapped to the legs of the chair.

"I have a surprise for you." He smiled. The sound of glee in his voice made her skin crawl and stomach clench.

"No thanks. I'll pass." She spat at him.

"Oh, I think you will want to see this." He walked to the wall and flipped the light switch.

Emily's breath caught in her throat and tears swelled in her eyes. Not fifteen feet away sat JJ in a chair tied just as Emily was. Her blonde hair hanging in her face as tears rolled down her cheeks and her mouth was taped. Next to the blonde sat Will much in the same position. Emily's heart clenched and ached as guilt and anger washed over her entire body. She pulled harder on her ties but to no avail.

"No!" her voice penetrated the air as she stared into JJ's eyes. The strength she normally saw was gone and in its place was defeat and sadness. "Touch them and I will kill you! You son of a bitch!" she yelled as Doyle walked to JJ and put his hand on her shoulder. The blonde flinched slightly but didn't put up anymore fight. Emily could tell from the way JJ's clothes were that at some point she had fought back. Dirt was splattered on her jeans and her white top had blood spots.

"Oh, I wouldn't be hurting them. You will." He laughed as another man opened the door and strolled in with Henry in his arms.

"No, no please let him go. Please, I'll do anything. Don't hurt him." Emily panicked seeing the baby. He wasn't crying but the way his tiny face was scrunched up and red with splotches she knew he had been.

"Like I said I'm not going to harm a hair on their heads, you are." Doyle said to her as her took Henry from the man. "His blonde hair is just like Declan, don't you think?" he smiled at the boy.

"Doyle please just let them go. You don't need them. They didn't do anything to you. I did." She knew she was just talking. He wasn't going to change his mind or listen to a thing she said.

"Did Emily tell you what she did to my son?" he directed the question to JJ. Emily looked with helpless eyes to her girlfriend. But the blonde just stared at Henry with her jaw working back and forth. Emily could see the fear written all over her face as Doyle held onto the baby. "Emily, didn't you tell the woman who you live with that you killed my son?"

Emily snapped her mouth shut. She wasn't going to give in to his game. Of course JJ and Will both knew the truth but she still had a boy to protect.

"She killed my little boy. He wasn't much older than Henry." He mused putting Henry in JJ's lap and pulling off the tape on her mouth. "Would she do the same to him?"

JJ ignored the man and cooed at her son. "It's okay sweetie. Momma's right here." Henry laid his little head on her chest and put his thumb in his mouth. It was the only comfort he had left.

Emily relaxed a little hearing JJ's voice. "Jen" it was whispered but JJ heard it. She lifted her eyes to Emily. "I'm so sorry." Emily choked out as tears fell from her face. JJ licked her dry cracked lips but didn't say anything as she turned her head back to Henry.

"Looks like trouble in paradise." Doyle laughed causing Emily to stare daggers at him. "But it's okay. Jennifer is going to hate you anyways."

"Why?" Emily asked in vain still trying to get loose from her ropes.

"Because you are going to kill one of them."

Her head snapped up in shock. "W-what?"

"You get to choose one of them to die by your hand. I want you to feel what I felt seeing those pictures of my son dying so pick. Who gets to die?"

"No, you said this was between you and me. Not them! Kill me! Take me!" she screamed making Henry burst into tears holding on to his mother for dear life.

"Oh, you will die but first one of the people you love most dies at you hands. Pick!" he held his hand to JJ's head. "The love of your life or the son you wish you had?"

JJ's body started shaking as her eyes met Emily's. "Me, Emily pick me." Will's head shoot up and locked eyes with Emily begging her to do something. But she didn't know what to do.

With one last look at her family she shook her head and cried. "No please no." she begged right before a shot rang out.

**AN: Cue dramatic music! You knew it was going to happen, right? **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: So I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow but my girlfriend told me I was being mean to you all by leaving it last chapter especially since it was already written. So here you go! Now be nice and leave me a pretty review :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

_With one last look at her family she shook her head and cried. "No please no." she begged right before a shot rang out._

"That's a warning. Now choose!" Doyle screamed after shooting near Emily's foot. Henry was screaming in JJ's lap and the blonde herself was shaking and sobbing into Henry's hair.

"No!" Emily shouted pulling at the ties so hard that the chair fell forward. Her head hit the ground hard but she didn't even blink as the legs of the chair broke and she scrambled up. With her legs out of restraints she darted across the room like a bat out of hell but Doyle was faster. His hand went up and another shot rang out. Emily stopped and looked down seeing blood pour from her stomach but with so much adrenaline running through her body she didn't even feel it.

JJ yelled out as Emily stumbled forward then took off again. The brunette charged yelling at Doyle but yet another shot rang out. This time she slumped to the floor. But next to JJ Will finally got his ties undone and went for Doyle as the lights went out. All too soon many shots were fired and some relief washed over Emily as men with guns rushed the room. She knew it was Hotch and the team.

Before the darkness took over she opened her eyes to see Ian Doyle lying in a pool of blood but right next to him was Will.

…

JJ held as tight to Henry as she could without physically hurting him. After Hotch and Morgan stormed the warehouse they cut her loose. She ran out with her son in her arms not even looking back. Now sitting at the hospital she regretted not stopping for Emily but she couldn't think of anything but her son at the time.

"Jayje, the doctor said you can go. Clean bill of health for both of you." Morgan placed a hand on her shoulder and she flinched away from him.

"I don't want to wake him." she mumbled nodding her head at the sleeping baby on the bed next to her. Luckily the doctors let the two of them share a room to get checked out in. Henry screamed and cried the whole way there and no one had the heart to take him away from his mother.

"I can carry him." he offered.

"No" she quickly placed a hand over her son. No one would be touching him, no one.

"Okay, would you like me to check on Emily for you?"

She hesitated. She knew Emily was brought out alive but she couldn't bear to think what might have happened during surgery. The doctor's had already told her Will was dead, Doyle shot him in the head a few feet from her and she didn't know if she could handle any more news.

"Jayje?" he asked again.

Silently she nodded and wiped the tears on her cheeks. Her body felt weak and tired, she didn't know how she was even able to cry.

After Doyle's men took her and Will from the airport she found a chance to fight them off but it didn't last long before they started beating on her too. A few bruised ribs, small scratches and cracked knuckles was all she had but seeing her son's father die right in front of her and Emily getting shot twice only feet from her was taking everything she had left. She felt drained but she knew she had to stay strong for Henry. Her little boy who had seen too much and lost so much within a few short hours had finally cried himself to sleep.

Lying back down on the bed she snuggled closer to Henry's tiny body and gazed at him. She was so close to losing him, she knew and she was grateful that it didn't come to pass. Her eyes drifted closed but didn't end that way as the door opened and Hotch and Morgan stepped through.

"Jayje" Hotch looked over the woman and baby. His heart went out to her. He knew exactly what she was feeling as his wife was killed before him too. "They just finished Emily's surgery. There was severe damage to her abdomen where both shots hit and a lot of blood loss."

"Is she?" she couldn't finish her question. It hurt too much.

"She's going to make it but the next twenty four hours are going to be critical. Would you like to see her?" Hotch's dark eyes softened as he spoke.

JJ nodded once again as her emotions left her. She sobbed silently with her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't wake her son. Morgan held out a hand for her as she climbed off the bed. Taking it she looked at him. "Stay with him please?" he smiled softly and agreed.

Hotch walked her down the hallway and stopped at a closed door. "I'll let you." He said quietly.

JJ opened the door and stared at the body lying in the bed. Tubes and wires strung every way possible and monitors beeped in time with the woman's heart. A breathing machine made the woman's chest rise and fall letting JJ know she was alive. JJ gazed at her face and a small part of her broke.

Tears streamed down her face as she reached her hand out and pushed a few loose dark strands of hair away from Emily's face. "Emily" she whispered withdrawing her hand. Before she walked into the room she knew what she was going to do. Even though it hurt and even though she love Emily with all her heart she couldn't keep Henry here. So with one last look she kissed Emily's head. "I'm sorry" she said and then left the room leaving her heart behind.

…

It was days before Emily woke and when she did she thought she was in hell. The moment she opened her eyes instead of seeing JJ and Henry she saw her mother and father.

"Where's Jen?" her voice cracked slightly.

Her mother sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. The smile on her face told Emily everything. "She left, Emily. The day after everything happened she took Henry and left."

"Where?" she could hear the rhythm of her accelerated heart beat on the monitors. "Where'd she go?"

"Dr. Reid said she went to her parents. I'm sorry, Emily." the Ambassador said sincerely.

Emily pushed the tears away and took a deep breath. "That's good. It is." She told herself. JJ had just witnessed Will dying and herself being shot. It was good for her to get away especially with Henry. But her heart was weeping. Everything she feared would happen had happened. She lost the only person she truly loved. JJ was gone.

…

Weeks passed as JJ took up residence in her parent's extra bedroom. Henry was doing better. Nightmares only every other night and he didn't ask for Will much anymore. Being with family healed him and because he was so young the doctors told her he would move on faster.

If that were only true for her, she thought as she sat on the front porch watching her son playing in the front yard. It took her weeks to finally let him be further away from her. Five feet was her max when she arrived at her parent's door but now he ran freely over their property.

She grew up in a small town where her parents still lived so it was easy for her to feel at home there. The wide open spaces seemed to help her heal as well. Not as fast as Henry but she was getting there. A week after Doyle she flew to Louisiana to bury Will with his father. Reid and Garcia came out for it too. It was good seeing them but as soon as Garcia uttered the name Emily JJ threw up her hands and high tailed it out of there leaving Garcia and Reid speechless.

She had moved on from being kidnapped but she still hadn't dealt with Emily's mess. Not only did the woman lie for years about her past but also brought her past into her life with her son. Will died because of Emily. Henry wouldn't know his father because of Emily. Sure Doyle pulled the trigger but it was because Emily took his son. JJ didn't know how to deal with that.

So from then on if anyone from the team called they never said a word about the brunette. She knew Emily was alive and that was enough. Some part of her still longed to see her and touch her but JJ pushed that part away.

"Jennifer, who's that?" Her mother looked up from her newspaper beside the blonde and pointed to a black SUV pulling into their long dirt driveway.

"I don't know. Henry, come up here Honey." She stood and picked the boy up.

…

Getting out of the hospital was harder than she thought it would be. Two weeks after her surgery she was finally let out but she soon remembered she had nowhere to go. Her apartment was leased to someone else and she didn't know how to get a hold of JJ to know about her apartment. Garcia offered but Emily hated to put her out.

So reluctantly she agreed to stay with her parents. And over the past few weeks they seemed like completely different people. First her mother stayed with her every day in the hospital even when Emily told her to leave. And then at home she waited on Emily hand and foot. Her father made up her room and hired a physical trainer to get her body back in working order. They spent time with her and most of all they finally told her they loved her. It was strange at first but almost losing her made them see what they had and what they could have lost.

The only one who hadn't been to see her was JJ. Her team came and busted her chops but all was good. Morgan was still upset about her not trusting him enough but he understood. He would do the same for his family. Reid came but not as often as the others. She knew he was still in contact with JJ so she figured he didn't want to get into the middle of things even though Emily didn't know what things were between them.

She knew she screwed up and Will paid for it and she would always regret that. Henry would grow up without his father and that would always be on Emily. But at some point she thought JJ would come to terms and talk to her but for nearly seven weeks the blonde didn't return to DC. No word on when she would or if she never would. Emily wanted to talk to her even if they never got back what they had. She didn't want JJ to hate her. She didn't know if she could handle JJ hating her.

So as she drove up the long drive to JJ's parent's house she prayed the blonde would just hear her out.

**AN: So I know I skipped over Emily's physical recovery but as I was writing it just didn't flow right and what I really wanted to focus on was Emily and JJ's emotional recovery not just the physical so this version was wrote instead. Let me know what you think?**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: This is a very emotionally charged chapter just so you know. Kleenexes may be needed for some. Please enjoy!**

Emily climbed out of the SUV and shut the door. Her heart fluttered seeing her blonde standing on the porch of the nice size home with a picket white fence. Her hair was down and blowing softly in the breeze as she clutched at the little boy on her hip. The other woman standing behind JJ was smiling but JJ herself looked like she was seeing a ghost. Emily wiped her sweaty palms onto her jeans and stepped towards the house.

"Emmy!" Henry waved enthusiastically at her as she slowly approached the front yard gate.

"Momma, take Henry inside please." JJ spoke handing to boy over to the woman as her eyes trained on Emily. Emily licked her lips and bit at her bottom lip, her heart was pounding so hard she could barely hear over it.

"Hear her out, Jennifer." Her mother said loud enough to get a grateful smile out of the brunette.

Emily stayed on the outside of the fence and waited for JJ to come to her. She didn't want JJ to feel trapped into talking to her. She knew JJ wouldn't react well to that. "Hi" she breathed as JJ stood a few feet from her arms crossed over her chest defensively.

"What are you doing here?" JJ asked. She wasn't ready to deal with Emily yet. And seeing the brunette was just making it all worse.

"I wanted to see that you and Henry were okay." Emily told her which was true.

"You could've asked Hotch or Garcia." She said harsher than either of them would've liked.

Emily closed her eyes and breathed. "They don't really talk about you at least to me they don't. Look I know you're…"

"Emily, you don't know anything. Please leave. And don't come back." the blonde turned on her heel and stalked back to the house.

"I love you" Emily said as she opened the gate. She knew that would get JJ's attention. But enough was enough and she was going to get out what she came all this way to say. "And I'm so sorry for causing Henry to lose his father. I never meant for that to happen. And even if people can forgive that I will always have his death on my hands. I can't make that up to you but Jen, I can't live with you hating me. I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused."

JJ turned with tears in her eyes. "You got him killed!" she yelled. She didn't know where all the emotion was coming from but she was going with it. "My son doesn't have a father! You did this to us!"

"I know. And I will never forgive myself for it and if I had a choice I would gladly give my life for his but I don't. So I can only go on." Emily shot back stalking towards the blonde.

"How can you?"

"You think I don't know what I did? You think I just walk around with my head held high thinking I got lucky? No Jen I don't. Every time I close my eyes I see the heart break in your eyes when Doyle came in with Henry. I hear Henry's screams in my sleep every night and I watch Will die every day. It never leaves me and it never will." Her breaths came out in pants as she stood inches away from JJ.

JJ stared into those dark eyes that she loved so much and could see the pain the brunette was in. Mentally she knew Emily would feel these things but she tried pushing that away from her mind. All she could think of was her son.

"Jennifer, I'm not asking for you to forget or even fully forgive but I need to know that you don't hate me. I know we will never get back what we had. I wish we could but I know we won't. But please don't hate me." Emily begged. Her hands itched to touch the woman in front of her but she balled them into fists instead.

"Jennifer, dinners ready. Emily, please stay." JJ's mother opened the door to the house and stepped out.

"No"

"No thanks" They both said simultaneously.

Mary smiled "Yes you will. Jennifer, this is my house and I may invite anyone I damn well please and as for you" she pointed at Emily. "You will mind your manners and accept a nice dinner invitation."

"Yes ma'am." They both mumbled and nodded.

Emily waited until JJ entered the house then followed behind until Mary grabbed her arm. "I'm very thankful to you and I'm so happy you are doing well." The woman smiled.

"I don't deserve that but thank you." Emily smiled tightly.

"Emily, you did everything in your power to save my daughter and grandson. Yes Will died and that is so very tragic but from what I gathered he knew what he was doing when he agreed to help you. He knew the danger and so did my daughter when she didn't get on that plane. And out of all of it you not only saved Henry but you saved another little boy who could've also been hurt." Mary squeezed her hand then walked into the kitchen.

Emily pushed back her emotions and walked in as well.

Dinner started silently but as Henry got excited to show off for Emily the group took turns laughing and playing with the boy. Emily maintained her distance from Henry knowing JJ wouldn't want her near him but she soon found him climbing into her lap.

"Emmy, play trucks?" his wide blue eyes pulled at her heart. She was so thankful that he didn't seem to have any fear towards her. The last time she saw him she was screaming and he was crying into his mother's chest. The memory made her flinch slightly and the Jareau family all noticed.

"I- I uh…" she stumbled with words as she fought with a flashback coming on. She had been having them for a few weeks now and was working on getting them under control but when she does have them she breaks down. "I need to go." She set Henry down quickly and raced to the door.

JJ stood, "She wasn't lying" she whispered running after the brunette. Flying out the door she raced down the porch and skidded to a stop in front of Emily coward over at the gate. "Emily?" she stepped up carefully.

Emily flinched away from the voice as moments from that night played in her mind first Doyle on the phone, then JJ and Henry crying for her, and then nothing. Her breaths came out in pants and her stomach rolled as she released her just consumed dinner.

JJ stepped back and waited for Emily to stop. She had been around enough victims and families to know what she was seeing. PTSD was common among people who go through traumatic events. She was honestly surprised that she wasn't suffering from it.

As Emily's body stopped shaking JJ gently put her hand on the woman's back. This time Emily didn't move so she rubbed soothing circles and softly talked. "Why didn't you tell me it was this bad? I would've helped. No one told me." She hated that her team kept this from her.

"No one knows." Emily stood up right wiping her mouth. "I didn't tell anyone. I'm dealing with it."

"So when you said you see it every day you actually meant this? How often?" JJ asked.

Emily shook her head. "We are not talking about this. I have to go."

"No Emily, wait." JJ grabbed her arm. "You can't leave like this. At least let me drive you." She couldn't have Emily driving after having what she assumed was a flashback or memory of some kind. First it just wasn't safe but second she was really worried about the brunette. JJ might be angry but she still cared about her.

"No Emily, you're staying here. No arguments." JJ's father said standing feet from them, neither noticed until now.

"Mr. Jareau, with all due respect I can't." Emily stated.

"Em, he's right. Stay here please?" Emily looked at JJ and saw the worry in her eyes and nodded. She couldn't say no to those blue eyes.

…

After getting Henry to sleep JJ quietly slipped out back. It was dark but the moon was so bright that she could see just fine. When she was little she would come out back with her sister during the summer and camp out. They would set up their tent and make a fire for their marshmallows. Her sister would tell ghost stories that would leave JJ frightened to go to sleep but she would tough it out all night. The stars would shine down and she would stay up counting them.

Walking up on the hill she paused. Emily's silhouette stood a few yards away. The brunette was staring up at the same stars JJ would count. She wouldn't deny that when she looked at Emily her heart would skip a beat and cry out to hold the other woman but now was not the time for that. She reminded herself of her little boy and those feelings would go away.

Clearing her throat so she wouldn't scare Emily she walked up next to her. "When do you go back to work?" it was a lame question but it was safe.

"Not sure. I haven't been cleared yet. You?" Emily didn't look at her and now JJ knew why. Tears streamed down her face.

"Em" she reached but Emily moved away.

"Don't, please don't. I don't even know why I came here. It was so stupid!" she ran her hands through her hair. "I fucked up everything."

"No!" JJ grabbed her arm and turned the woman. "You didn't fuck up anything. I'm sorry I said anything like that. My mom was right. You saved Declan and you and Will saved me and Henry. You didn't fuck up."

"But I did. I wasn't supposed to fall in love. I wasn't supposed to see a life with you. I wasn't supposed to put you in danger. I fucked up and I can't stop it. I got your son's father killed!" Emily cried as JJ pulled her in.

"Stop Em stop." She whispered resting her forehead on Emily's as their hands intertwined.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen." Both women were crying and holding onto one another as the minutes passed by. After their breathing returned to normal Emily slowly backed away. "I can't stay. I need to go."

"What? No Emily, it's too late. You aren't leaving." She once again grabbed Emily's arm and pulled her into a kiss. A gasp fell from Emily's lips and JJ took that as her opening sliding her tongue into the other's mouth. Lips caressed and tongues tasted for as long as air wasn't needed but when it was JJ pulled away. "Don't leave."

Emily didn't know what to do so she nodded. JJ grasped her hand and pulled her towards the house. They climbed the stairs to the bedrooms in silence and JJ gently pulled Emily into her room and shut the door. Emily was about to protest knowing this wasn't a good idea but JJ silenced her with a finger to her lips.

"Just hold me." She felt desperate asking but she was. They had spent months in each other's arms and now when they both needed it they weren't even talking to each other. She knew the backlashes it could have but her need to have Emily near was too great. So without another word she laid down on the bed and pulled Emily with her. They laid facing each other and their arms and legs tangled together.

No words were said as their eyes remained locked. For the first time in seven weeks Emily felt whole, she felt like she use to. She knew they couldn't go back to what they were but staring into JJ's soul she knew the blonde didn't hate her and that was enough. Eventually JJ moved her head to rest it over Emily's heart. The beating of the woman's proof of life lolled her to sleep. Emily held on tight to the blonde and followed closely behind her to dreamland hoping she wouldn't see _his_ face for once.

**AN: So a nice ending for the chapter but they still have a very long journey a head of them. Let me know what you think?**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Thank you so much for the reviews and comments! Y'all are the best!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

"No!" Emily sprung up from the bed, her body dripping with sweat and shaking from her nightmare. She put her hand over her chest trying in vain to slow her heart.

"Emily?" the brunette's eyes darted next to her and widened. JJ lay there staring up at her. "Are you okay?" the blonde asked.

Emily closed her eyes then opened them again just to make sure JJ was really there. When she didn't disappear Emily slowly nodded. "Dream" she mumbled. Her breaths were becoming calmer so she laid back down.

"How often do you have them?" JJ asked. She was still somewhat startled being woken up like that. Henry had his fair share of nightmares since Doyle but a baby's dreams are not as bad as a grown woman's who could comprehend everything that happened.

"Every night." Emily shrugged. She hated that JJ saw her like this but she knew she couldn't help it. After she got back on her feet Hotch had given her a mandatory mental evaluation with a shrink. The shrink had to sign off on her but the woman hadn't yet. But Emily understood. Seven weeks was still a short time period for PTSD and her flashback had gotten better since talking with the shrink.

"How often do you get flashbacks? That's what happened earlier right?" JJ questioned. Emily wasn't obligated to tell her but JJ really wanted to know.

"Use to be a lot but now just when I remember something from that night. Today it was Henry. I was thinking about the way he looked the last time I saw him." Emily turned to face the other woman.

"Does talking about it help or harm?"

"Depends, right now I'm fine." She answered JJ's unasked question of talking about it right now. Most of the time if she was talking to someone about it she didn't have the flashbacks but if she was just thinking about it they would come. Some were intense like earlier but some weren't. The intense ones shook her whole body and mind and often she would end in tears on the floor curled into a ball.

"If you don't want to tell me its fine but what happens in them?" JJ took Emily's hand in hers.

"Mostly it's just flashes of that night but other times it's like a movie playing in my head. My shrink said my mind is still trying to process it. Today was a bad one. I could feel what I felt that night looking at Henry sitting in your lap crying. His little face all…" she stopped as JJ squeezed her hand and sniffled. "I'm sorry. You don't need to hear that."

"But it's what you see and feel. I want to know. Please?" JJ could tell Emily was reluctant but she really wanted to understand Emily's side of things. Sure JJ had her own feelings about it and they were not going to just go away because she felt bad for Emily but hearing Emily's feeling might give some light for her.

"Okay but if it gets too much say so." Emily warned then took a deep breath. "When the man brought Henry into the room his face was red and splotchy and I remember thinking how brave he was for not crying. But when Doyle shot the gun Henry turned in your lap and held on so tight. I wanted to race across the room to wrap my arms around you and him and that's why the chair fell. And when it broke and I got loose that was the only thing on my mind. I need to get your arms loose so you could hold him. His face was buried in your neck and his body was shaking. It was…" she trailed off as her own tears fell to the pillow beneath her head mixing with the ones from JJ's eyes.

"I'm so sorry you have to relive that. It's not fair." JJ ran her thumb under Emily's eyes wiping away the wetness. She wanted to pull her close and kiss her, to take it all away but she fought it and rested her forehead on Emily's instead. The one kiss they shared before going to bed was enough for now.

Not another word was spoken as sleep found them once again wrapped in each other's embrace.

…

JJ woke to the sun shining in her face from the window. Blinking a few times she rolled over to find Emily blissfully asleep. The blonde stared for a few minutes but glancing at the clock she figured Henry would be up soon so quietly she slipped out of bed and gently shut the bedroom door behind her.

When she stepped downstairs she smiled brightly at her mother who had Henry on the counter top in the kitchen helping her mix pancake batter. "Morning." she walked over and kissed her son's head. "How long have you been up?"

"Pancakes momma!" he squealed sticking his finger in the bowl and pulling out a finger full of batter. "Yummy!" he licked his finger then held it out to her.

"No thanks baby. You can finish it." JJ kissed him again and went for the coffee on the counter. "You didn't have to get up with him mom. You could've got me up." she said watching as her mother coached Henry in stirring his mix.

"I was going to but Emily wasn't on the couch so…" her mother said with a smirk.

"Mom, it wasn't like that." JJ frowned thinking of the night before. Emily was distraught so she was merely being there for her. At least that's what she told herself. She couldn't, wouldn't, think otherwise.

"I'm sure it wasn't. But honey, you really should do what your heart says." The older woman told her wisely.

"She lied not only to me but the team and mostly to herself. And whether you think she did or not she did get Will K-I-L-L-E-D." she spelt out the last part due to the little boy listening in.

Mary stopped stirring and turned to face JJ. "I do understand that but Jennifer you don't exactly have a clean past either. So she lied about going undercover don't all of you do that? I mean not every agent goes around saying 'I took so and so down. Look at me.' now do they?" she said pointedly.

"Well no but…"

"No but, Jennifer. She did what she had to do and I think you should lay off a little. She did try to get you and Henry out. You chose to go back."

"When did you become Emily's biggest fan?" JJ asked dryly not liking the fact that her mother was right.

"I'm your biggest fan and she makes you so happy. I want you happy and I want you loved." Mary kissed her cheek and went back to the task of making breakfast leaving JJ sulking over her thoughts.

She wouldn't deny that being wrapped in Emily's arms for the night didn't make her feel at home again but she still couldn't forgive everything that happened. Even if her mother thought it was just that easy to forgive and forget JJ couldn't. Will was killed because Emily lied. The brunette had time to tell Doyle the truth. She had time to fix everything. But she didn't.

…

When Emily woke again she was alone. The bed next to her was cold so she figured JJ had been up for a while. Finding her phone she checked the time 10:37am. Groaning she picked herself up and straighten her clothes. She and JJ had been in such a desperate need to hold the other that they didn't bother taking off any clothes or shoes.

She slowly took the stairs looking for anyone else awake but found the living room and kitchen empty. Moving towards the back door she grinned. Out in the yard was JJ with her long blonde hair in a messy bun kicking around a soccer ball along with little Henry running as fast as his little legs would let him after his momma. When her and the blonde were thinking about finding a new house one thing on JJ's list was a big yard so Henry could run around. Now standing at the door she frowned. They would never have that together. And it was all her fault.

"Good morning dear." Mary smiled opening the door and motioning Emily out.

"Morning, sorry I slept in." She mumbled still thinking of all the things she screwed up.

"Nonsense, would you like some breakfast? Henry made some pancakes." Emily smiled warmly at the older woman.

"Yes please that would be great." She answered then turned her attention to the two blondes in the yard. Henry was charging his mother with a huge smile but just missed when JJ moved over laughing. It was such a great sight to see.

When Henry seemed to wind down Emily stepped of the porch and walked towards the mother son duo. "Morning." she smiled as JJ noticed her.

"Morning" JJ gave her a tight lipped smile back.

"Hi Emmy. I play soccer." Henry grinned kicking at the ball.

"I saw. You are getting so good. I bet you can beat Momma now." She bent down to talk to him. She was still worried that he might fear her some. Not only from that night but also the day before, she had set him down so fast when she was getting the flashback that she didn't know if he was okay.

"I can" he smiled up at his mother then giggled. "I faster" he whispered to Emily.

"You are. Momma's getting old. She can't go fast like you." Emily chanced a glance at JJ but was reassured by the blonde smile. "Can you show me how fast you can go?"

Before she could finish her sentence Henry took off across the yard with a squeal. JJ laughed then turned to Emily. "Sleep better?"

"Yeah, sorry I woke you up." Emily apologized slightly embarrassed from the nightmare she had.

"It's okay." JJ bit her lip all of a sudden nervous to be around the brunette.

"Jen, when are you coming home?" Emily couldn't help the pleading in her voice. JJ being at her parents was going to be harder on her when she goes back to DC. She hated that JJ thought she needed to be away but understood it.

"I'm going back to DC in a week." JJ told her sharply. Emily didn't miss the way she worded it. JJ wasn't coming home she was just going back to DC. Back to how they were before they fell in love, before either of them wanted more.

Mary soon came back out with Emily's breakfast and Henry settled down next to Emily at the table sipping at his milk and stealing bites from his Emmy.

"When do you have to get back Emily?" Mary asked swatting Henry away from Emily.

"I have a few weeks till I go back to work but I have some things I have to get done at home. Declan has an adoption hearing I have to be at." She mumbled still upset at JJ's subtle rejection.

"Who's adopting him?" JJ asked. Emily never talked about Declan but that all circled back to the lie so JJ was slightly intrigued.

"Tom Kohler has been raising him. He was a friend of mine back then and he was the best person to keep Declan safe." Emily told her.

"Did you ever think of keeping him yourself? I mean I don't really know how well you knew him or anything but…" Mary piped in.

Emily smirked thinking about the little blonde haired boy. Sure she thought of keeping him but that really was contusive to her career. "Declan is a wonderful kid and I adore him but when Doyle was put away I was transferring back to DC and starting a new career at the FBI. Plus I knew Doyle couldn't find out where he was and if I had him he would've. I would never let him get near Declan." She bit out just thinking about what that boy would have been like if Doyle did raise him.

"What about now?" JJ raised a brow.

"No, Declan is happy where he is. I don't need to mess up his life." she watched the slight smile pull at JJ's lips. She must have answered right. "Plus right now really isn't a good time. I have a lot to put back together first." She stared pointedly at JJ.

The blonde sighed. "Not now." she motioned to the listening boy. Emily nodded and turned away to finish her food.

"Well I think you would make his life better not worse. You're a natural when it comes to kids. Case and point." Mary motioned to Henry who was snuggled up to Emily with a bite of her pancakes in his mouth.

"He just wants me for my food." Emily chuckled. "But thank you. Maybe one day." she smiled to Mary. "I better get going. Thank you so much for everything."Emily stood after she and Henry polished off her plate.

"It was my pleasure dear. I wish you could stay longer." Mary said pulling the brunette into a tight hug.

"No, I have to get back. Pancakes were so good Henry. Thank you for helping me eat them all." She kissed his head.

"Emmy no go. Play with me?" he whined arms in the air for her to pick him up.

"Sorry sweetie, I have to go home but maybe when you get back we can play. Be good for Momma." She kissed his cheek and set the pouting boy down. She grabbed her things from the house then walked out the door to her waiting car.

JJ stood beside the car door until Emily opened it throwing her bag inside. "Be safe okay?" JJ didn't know what else to say.

"I will." Emily twisted her fingers together feeling the awkward tension too. "Will you call me when you get back?" she asked quietly with her eyes on the ground.

"I don't know." JJ answered honestly. "I still have some thinking to do and you need to get better before I can even think about us." She paused seeing Emily losing her emotions. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I just don't know what to do yet."

Emily nodded and wiped the few tears trailing down her cheeks. "I understand. I'm sorry." She climbed into the car and buckled up. "Goodbye Jennifer." She shut the door and pulled away.

JJ watched the car disappear with a sinking feeling in her gut.

**AN: Next is a little Emily/Morgan time and JJ/Garcia time! Let me know what you think!**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Okay all you JJ haters maybe this chapter will help. And thank you so much for all the reviews!**

Emily opened the door to her new apartment for Morgan who had his hands full with a box filled with the last of Emily's belongings. "Thanks Morgan" she smiled at him as he set the box down in the living room. Her whole apartment was full of boxes and furniture scattered here and there.

"Last one!" he cheered out with both hands in the air. He had carried up all the heavy things for the past few hours and was ready to kick up his feet.

"Yep, beer?" she motioned him to the kitchen and pulled out two beers from the fridge.

"Thanks" he took the bottle and downed half of it in the first swallow. "When do you get to come back to work?"

"In a few days, I hope." She smiled sipping her drink as well. It had been a little over a week since Emily got back to DC and left JJ behind. But in that time she moved completely and got things in order with her therapist. She wanted to get back to work as soon as possible hoping it might get her mind in the right place.

"Me too. I hate when we're down agents. Seaver moved to another unit so we're down two. Hotch was talking about bringing someone new in though. Not to cover you but Seaver." Morgan told her slouching down on a bar stool.

"I hope it's a man. I'm so tired of women!" She groaned playfully.

"No word from Jayje?" Morgan raised a brow.

Emily snorted. "No but I do understand her point. I put her son in danger. And I take responsibility for that. If anything had happened to Henry I would never forgive myself. But Will did lose his life and that was my fault. However," she cleared her throat. "How was I to know Doyle was going to escape prison?"

"Totally true. Jayje just needs time. I'm sure seeing Henry like that shook something inside her and she's just worried. Give her time to work through her own grief."

"But I need her. Is that selfish of me to need her to get myself through this?" she asked leaning over the counter.

"No, it's not selfish to need her. Of course you would and I think she needs you too. But you can't force Jayje into something she doesn't know she needs. But I do think you should talk to her." Morgan downed the rest of his beer.

"Another?" Emily asked and at his nod she scooted off her stool. "I don't know what to say to her that hasn't been said already. When I went to see her she found out about the PTSD and I thought she would know then that I needed her and she even kissed me but when I was leaving she was really cold."

"I'm sorry Emily. I wish I could help." Morgan clasped a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay. I guess we'll see what happens."

"Yep but if you need anything I'm always here. Do you need help moving anything else?" Morgan asked looking around the apartment.

"No, I can do the rest but thanks so much for moving the big things for me." Emily said walking with him to the door. It was getting late and she had to be at Declan's hearing in the morning anyways. With a last goodbye Morgan left and Emily turned to check out her filled apartment.

…

JJ laughed as Henry ran from room to room checking out is home making sure it was in the same order they left it in. The trip back to DC was long but Henry was happy to be home so that made up for the fit he threw on the airplane. "Careful buddy" she called out as the door bell rang.

"Jayje!" Garcia's arms were wrapped around the blonde as soon as the door was open.

"Hey Pen" JJ closed the door and smiled as Henry also got swallowed up in a Garcia hug. "Henry, Aunt Pen is going to squeeze you so hard that your eyes are gonna pop out!"

"No not my eyes!" he laughed and took off as Garcia set him down.

"Don't tell him things like that. Then he'll never let me hug him!" Garcia scolded playfully.

"Sorry" JJ smiled.

"So how are you? How is Henry and how are you and Emily? Tell me everything!" Garcia spit out so fast JJ's head was spinning.

"Uh… Henry's doing better. I'm getting there and Emily and I are…I don't know." she plopped down on the couch for some good old fashioned girl talk.

"That doesn't sound good. She went to see you right?" at the nod Garcia rolled her eyes. "Well what happened?"

"Not much." JJ shrugged. She wasn't sure if everyone knew how badly Emily was doing and it wasn't her place to say anything.

"You have to give me more than that! Emily was really upset before she left to see you. I honestly didn't expect her back until you came back but Morgan said he's talked to her a few times since."

"She only stayed for a night then came home. I wanted to make sure I could face coming back. And Henry was doing so well there with my parents that I didn't want him upset again." JJ told her.

"I understand. You all went through so much. I can't imagine seeing my child like that. And losing Will… I'm so sorry." Garcia grabbed her hand.

"Thanks. I think that's been one of the hardest parts. I may not have loved Will like I once did but he was Henry's father. He was a part of me no matter what. You know and now every time I think of him I just get so angry. Angry at the situation he was brought in and angry at Emily for bringing this into our lives. And don't look at me like that, I know its wrong." she shrugged again.

"Do you though? Do you know that Emily never would've come into your life if she would have known this would've happened?"

JJ swallowed. "Yes, I know she would never intentionally put us in danger but who else do I blame? In my mind I know she did everything to protect us. I know that I love her and want to be with her but Henry is and always will be my first priority. I can't put him in danger." She tried not to tear up.

The day Emily left JJ knew she was wrong. She had felt something she couldn't place at the time watching Emily drive away and every day since she has been trying to get rid of it. Emily was hurting and she needed to be there but the fear in the back of her mind that Henry could be in danger stopped her from taking action. She couldn't just ignore that. Henry was everything to her. He was her life so if he might be in danger she had to do everything to protect him even if that meant staying away from the one person who made her feel whole.

"But you know she didn't kill Will right? It wasn't her. It was Doyle. Ian Doyle took Will away not Emily. You have to stop blaming her for that. And your fear for Henry's safety is going to eat you alive. What about your work? You put him in the same danger while working for the BAU, just look at what Hotch went through." Garcia said wisely wanting to knock some sense into her friend.

"I know. I just don't know how to stop it." JJ bit at her lip. She missed Emily in times like this. The brunette would know exactly what to say to calm her fears.

"You need to talk to her." Garcia stood from the couch and motioned for JJ to do the same. "I will stay here with my favorite little godson while you go get your woman back."

"What? No, it's getting late anyways. Henry needs to go to bed and I…"

JJ was stopped by a hand over her mouth. "You will go and I will take care of Henry. Think of this as a trial run before you start work. Separation anxiety and all. He's going to be fine and you are going to help yourself and Emily. Now go."

JJ smiled and nodded her consent. "Fine but no candy." She wagged her finger at the other blonde.

…

Emily had just sat down with another box when the door bell rang. She huffed getting up from the floor and kicked her way through empty boxes to the door. "Jayje" she breathed as the blonde smile at her.

"Hey"

"Come in" Emily opened the door wider. She noticed JJ's eyes grow wide at the mess. "Oh, sorry just unpacking. The couch is clear if you can make it that far." She laughed as they both dodged this way and that.

"It's fine. Nice place." JJ said taking a seat.

"Thanks. How did you know where to find me?" Emily asked certain she didn't tell the blonde her new address.

"Garcia told me. Hope that's okay?"

"It is. What brings you by?" Emily twisted her fingers together in her lap nervously. She wasn't sure why JJ was there. The blonde didn't even call her when she got back so Emily wasn't holding her breath for a visit.

"I need to talk to you." The blonde said simply. "I guess I need to explain some things and I need you to do the same." Emily just stared back at her so JJ started. "I'm sorry I blamed you and I know I shouldn't. You wouldn't do anything to put Henry or me in danger and I'm sorry that I blamed you for everything. But I still have that fear and I want you to understand that."

Emily stood up and pace back and forth in the small space between boxes and furniture. JJ watched not sure where Emily's mind was. She didn't know if she should continue or stop. "Emily…"

"Just stop." Emily laughed in vain. She knew she was about to open a can of worms but she couldn't help it. "All I hear from you is you want you need, what about me? Jen, I hate to tell you but you're not the only one who lost something that day. Hell I'm the one who got two bullets shot through her. I get your hurt and I get you need to blame someone but the man responsible is dead. Ian Doyle is dead." She stopped taking in a breath then finished. "I'm sorry that you lost Will and that Henry was scared. I'm sorry Doyle got out and did this but honestly there wasn't anything else I could have done. Declan needed me to protect him too."

JJ sat speechless. The other woman was right and JJ knew that. "I know." she whispered.

"I have had it with people blaming me. I had enough from Strauss and Hotch. I don't need it from you too. And if you can't get that then I don't see the point of you being here. I need someone who can be there for me too not go running away at the first sign of trouble. I love you and I want that person to be you but if it's not then can you please save us both the heart ache and just go?"

JJ silently stood. This was it. This was the point of no return and she wasn't mad with Emily for making it. It had to be done so gently she took Emily hand and stepped closer. "I don't want to run away. I want to help you and I want you to help me. I love you too." said whispered with her heart on her sleeve.

Emily's insides exhaled. She was scared if she made her little speech JJ would turn and run but clearly she wasn't. Slowly Emily leaned in and kissed the blonde. "You're not alone in your fears, you know. I love Henry too and I would never put him in danger if I could help it."

JJ nodded as their forehead rested against the others. "I know. I'm so sorry I hurt you. You don't deserve that."

"Me too." Emily closed her eyes relishing the feeling of JJ in her arms again.

**AN: Better? We'll see if it lasts! Hehe!**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: You make me laugh with your comments. You know you love the drama! Haha! Anyways, here's some more for you! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

Emily's knee bounced with her nervous energy. She stared at nothing in particular in the small office but her eyes stayed clear of the woman across from her. The woman could almost read her like a book so being in this office once again put Emily in an anxious mood.

"You can stare at the wall all day or you can just answer my question. Why do you doubt her?" Emily glanced at the older woman and sighed.

"I don't know. I believe she loves me but to an extent I think if it gets hard again she will run. I guess I'm not enough to keep her." Emily confessed picking at her nails until her therapist cleared her throat. "Can't help it." Emily mumbled sticking her hands under her legs.

Doctor Merrill smirked "You can help it. But tell me about the conversation the two of you had a few days ago?"

Emily leaned back in her chair "She came to tell me why she was distant I guess. But I ended up telling her off. I wasn't going to, I was just going to take what she gave me but then I thought about what you said. I'm in the relationship too. I have a right to express myself so I did."

"How did you feel about 'telling her off' as you put it?"

"The only thing running through my mind was she was about to bolt." She shrugged with a laugh.

"Did she?"

"No, she stayed and I want to believe she's going to continue to stay but…" Emily trailed off. JJ was one of the topics Emily hated talking about to her shrink. The doc said it was most likely because Emily cared so much when talking about her that it was draining.

"Do you understand why she left in the first place? I think that you're not going to believe her unless you understand her reasons."

"I do understand her son was her top priority at the time and getting him away from all that happened was important but the other part of me resents her for not thinking I was important too. Like I was nothing to her. The first word out of my mouth when I woke up in the hospital was her name. It was horrible waking up to learn she was gone." Reliving those moment as she spoke about them she shivered and blinked a few times.

"Flashback?" Dr. Merrill leaned forward in her chair holding her hand out.

Emily nodded her head as the flashes of JJ ran through her mind. The tears running down the blonde's face caught her attention. She tracked them as Doyle stood over her screaming. What he said she wasn't sure but JJ's eyes burned her to her core as she tried to reach for her. She wanted to wipe those tears away. But she was tied down. "No, please no." she whispered seeing everything happen again.

"Emily, I want you to listen to my voice. You are in my office. JJ is safe and you are safe. Look at me." Dr. Merrill's voice penetrated her mind and Emily looked up as the scenes disappeared and she breathed in relief.

"What triggered it?"

"Thinking about JJ that night." Emily relaxed her body and closed her eyes briefly. "Can we stop?"

"Of course. Just relax, take deep breathes. You're safe."

…

Emily walked into JJ's apartment a few hours later. Instead of coming straight over like planned she drove around going over everything that happened during her therapy session and everything that was between her and JJ.

There was so much she wanted to say, so much that she knew she couldn't forgive but at the same time she love JJ so much that she wanted everything to work out. She did want to bring up any problems that could possibly tear them apart. But after a few hours she knew what she had to do, even if it would tear her world away.

So getting her confidence up and taking a deep breath she followed the sound of the TV into JJ's room to find the blonde sitting on the bed with her leg folded under her and a bowl of popcorn in her lap. Emily smiled as the blonde's eyes widened at something on the screen then she frowned. "Stupid, it's not even real." JJ shook her head then her eyes caught Emily's and she smiled. "Hey" she said turning off the TV.

"What are you watching?" Emily crossed the room with her heavy heart pounding in her chest.

"So dumb crime show. The blood doesn't even look real!" she said popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth. "How was your session? Is it okay if I ask?"

Emily nodded. "Of course you can ask. I might not always be willing to tell but you can always ask. Today was hard actually." She shrugged taking off her shoes and climbing onto the bed next to JJ.

"Why?" JJ frowned.

"We talked about you." She said honestly. She had decided on the drive over she was going all out. She couldn't hold things back and expect JJ to be honest as well.

JJ put the bowl down and scooted away. "Oh, do you not like talking about me?"

"No I hate it but the doc says it's because I care about what's said about you and I really don't have a preference when it comes to other things." Emily reached over and took the blonde's hand so she couldn't move away.

JJ stared at their hands for a minute before returning her gaze back to her eyes. She could tell Emily had something on her mind but JJ honestly didn't want to hear it. She figured if Emily was acting like this it wasn't good and it would bring down the walls they had put up around them for the past few days.

After they decided to give it another go they had ignored everything that happened and JJ liked it that way. Then she didn't have to feel the guilt of blaming Emily or face the fact that she messed up, that she hurt the brunette worse than anybody.

"Jen, I want to talk about it." Emily whispered.

"Why?"

"Because it's not going to go away even if we try our hardest to block it out. We will never get back what we had unless we do this." She sighed pulling the blonde into her arms. "I want us to make it through this but if we can't talk about it I don't think we can."

JJ clutched her arms and gazed into her eyes. "Okay, what do you want to talk about?" she conceded seeing the determination in Emily's eyes.

"I had a flashback today during my session. It was about you. And the reason I had it was because I was trying to figure out why you left me. Why you just took off without even waiting for me to wake up. I was alone and scared when I opened my eyes but you were gone." Emily dropped her hands and bit her lip in frustration.

"I-I was trying to get Henry safe." She stumbled with her words.

"I get that but what about me? Do I not mean that much to you?" she countered.

"What? Of course you do!" JJ jumped off the bed pacing with her hands running through her hair. "Emily, I love you but in that moment my only thought was for my son. You have to understand he is the first thought. And he always will be."

"I do understand that but where do I fit? You left me Jen. You didn't even call me or anything for seven weeks!" Emily tried to keep the angry out of her voice but she didn't succeed.

"I didn't know what to say. I was so confused and angry with you that I put all my focus on getting Henry better. Now I realize that I was wrong but I can't go back. I can't fix that. What do you want?" JJ stopped pacing and stood in front of the brunette. "What do you want, Emily?"

Emily didn't know what she wanted. She still had no clue where she was in JJ's life, where she fit in, what she meant. Emily had never had that insecurity before and she didn't know what to do about it.

"Em," JJ asked again.

"I don't know." Emily whispered.

"What are you afraid of?" JJ asked seeing fear written all over her face. Much like her therapist JJ could also read her like a book.

Emily glanced up at her then back at her hands in her lap. "I'm afraid you'll leave again and I won't make it the next time."

JJ dropped to her knees and took Emily's hands in hers. "Look at me." Emily raised her eyes slowly afraid of what she would see in those blue eyes. But what she saw took her breath away…love, devotion, understanding.

"I love you Emily. More than I ever thought possible and I know I screwed up and I know I hurt you. I can never explain how sorry I am for letting you believe you aren't important to me because you are. You are the only one who makes my heart beat like this," she placed Emily's hand on her chest letting the woman feel her heart pounding away. "You are the only one who makes me feel like I can do anything. And you are the only one I love with every fiber of my body. I'm never going to leave you."

Tears ran down both their faces as their eyes locked. Emily finally found her breath and looked away. She knew JJ meant what she said and the words hit home. JJ was going to stay; she was going to love her.

"What do you want Emily?" JJ asked once again as Emily stared at the floor.

The brunette darted her eyes to JJ and leaned down bringing their lips together. "You, only you." She whispered against JJ's lips as she kissed her. Lips and tongues met and caressed gaining moan after moan from each woman. JJ stood not letting Emily's lips go and pushed the woman back on the bed then covered her with her own body. She pulled away only to pull Emily's shirt off then her own. Emily's hands pushed and pulled at her clothing pleading with her to take them off so she gladly obliged.

Emily groaned feeling the blonde kissing down her throat to her chest. Emily arched her body up as JJ kissed along her breasts. Taking one breast then the other into her mouth flicking her hard nipples with her tongue sending sparks of arousal straight to Emily's core.

JJ smiled as Emily moaned and bucked up against her. But when Emily pushed on the blonde to flip their positions she sat up slightly. "No sweetie let me." She whispered capturing her lips again. JJ ran her hands down her body fingertips grazing the pale skin below her until her reached the other woman's wet center. She pulled back from the kiss and watched Emily's eyes close and her mouth open as pants of air rushed out. It was glorious to watch the effect she had on Emily.

Emily opened her eyes not feeling JJ's lips anymore only to see deep blue's staring at her in awe. "Please Jen" she begged arched her body into JJ's. Her hands clawed at the woman then traced her sides down to JJ's hips. She needed to feel her, to be in her.

JJ took the hint and moved up so Emily could slip her hand between them. Her eyes rolled back as Emily's fingers found her core. "God Em" she moaned stopping her own motions and rested her forehead on Emily's.

"Jen, with me" Emily whispered tilting her head to capture the blonde's lips and bucked her hips making the blonde continue.

Even though their positions where slightly awkward they both worked to bring the other the most pleasure possible. Emily felt JJ clench around her fingers and that sparked her own release as both moaned out the others name.

As JJ caught her breath she rolled off the brunette and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist pulling her as close as possible. "I love you" she whispered into her ear.

Emily turned her head and kissed JJ's lips. "I love you too."

**AN: Next our duo is getting back to work! Let me know what you think!**


	19. Chapter 19

JJ took Emily's hand in hers to stop her jitters. They were in the tiny office Emily hated. Her therapist suggested the JJ come to her last required session before Emily was able to go back to work. Emily was scared to ask at first seeing how things were still rocky between the two of them but she got her nerves in line and did.

JJ wasn't sure at first but as Emily explained more and more she decided it would be nice to have a third party look at their situation. Maybe Doctor Merrill could help them communicate better. But now sitting here with Emily a mess next to her she just wanted to leave.

"Hello Emily. And you must be Jennifer? I'm Doctor Merrill." the woman held her hand out.

"Jayje please." The blonde shook her hand.

"Well Jayje, did Emily explain why I thought you should come in?"

"Yes she did." JJ nodded glancing sideways at the brunette who was sitting silently.

"As you may know Emily still has some reservations about you two as a couple. Do you have any?"

JJ knew Emily was still struggling with believing her when she said she wasn't going to leave again and she totally understood it. Emily was left hurt and alone when she needed JJ the most. The regret and guilt from that had been weighing on her for some time now. "Yes and no. I've already told Emily this and she had reassured me as I have her but um... That night my baby was threatened. My son was in the arms of a killer. And at the time I did blame Emily for that. She was the reason he was here, she was the reason he came after my son."

"Do you still blame her?"

"No. It was unfair for me to blame her when I use to put my son in the same danger working for the BAU. She didn't deserve that." JJ told the woman then turned to Emily. "You don't deserve that. I'm so sorry I put that on you."

Emily smiled softly. "Thank you"

"Do you still feel Emily would put your son in danger?"

JJ bit her lip. "I think being a mother makes you see all the treats out there for your child. The dog down the road can come up and bite him or the new toy he got is going to hurt him somehow. Do I believe Emily will intentionally put him in danger? No but there is always a possibility. But there is with me too. I put away serial killers for years." She shrugged.

"Fair enough, Emily what about you?" the woman asked. "Would you like to discuss your worries?"

Emily nodded slowly. It was now or never. "I want to believe that JJ won't leave again but I don't fully." JJ knew this. It wasn't a surprised to hear Emily say. The brunette was good at hiding her emotions from others but JJ could see it all.

"Jayje, can you explain why you left?"

"The only thing in my mind was Henry. He was in danger and I had to get him safe." JJ stated. The two of them had had the same conversation just a few nights ago.

"May I ask about your sister?"

JJ froze then turned to Emily. "You told her?" JJ had lost her sister a very long time ago when she commited suicide.

"Yes, but not everything. She was asking me to describe your character and give examples." Emily defended. JJ's face fell. Her sister was not a topic she was willing to talk about even in the privacy of her own home. Emily only knew some of what happened and JJ wasn't willing to divulge the rest.

"I don't see how she has anything to do with us." JJ said to the therapist.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want but can you tell me what you did afterwards?"

JJ was speechless as her anger boiled but then Emily reached over and grabbed her hand calming her. "I was eleven when it happened. I just don't see how that affects me now."

"Oh it does. Grief can last a life time. What happened when she was found?"

"I left the house until my dad came to get me at the river. My sister and I use to go there late at night to talk. It was my safe place I guess."

"Where did you go as soon as you got back to your parents after you left DC?"

"To the river" JJ whispered holding back the memories of her sister. "I wanted to feel safe."

…

Emily grumbled shoving the last box away. Finally after weeks of coming home to a boxed up apartment she decided it was time to make her apartment home. Together Emily and JJ decided that taking it slow was the best course of action. They didn't need to rush into moving in together like they had before so Emily had no more excuses.

"Em?" she smiled hearing JJ's voice in the entry way.

"In here!" she yelled lifting herself off the ground and wiping her hands on her jeans.

"Hey, what are you doing?" JJ smirked taking in a disheveled brunette.

"I am officially done unpacking!" she raised her arms in victory as JJ giggled.

"That's great. How was the case?" JJ asked following Emily into the kitchen and nodded as Emily opened the fridge for a beer.

Emily had just gotten the okay from her therapist to get back to work when Hotch called with a case. She was nervous at first but as the team dived deeper and deeper into the killings Emily felt as ease. She had always known she was good at her job and she loved it so finishing her first case back gave her a new wave of pride.

"It was good." Emily handed JJ a bottle then opened hers. "No flashbacks or anything so that was good." she shrugged.

"I'm glad. Hotch told me you were fine." JJ took a sip.

"Hotch? Did you call to check up on me?" Emily asked slightly upset.

"No. No he called me today." JJ defended which she did often these days. She knew she hurt Emily by leaving but for weeks now they had been together and she really saw the affects she had on the brunette. Emily was never one to question herself about anything but now she not only questioned herself but also JJ, even after the session with Dr Merrill Emily needed that reassurance. But JJ took it in stride. She made the mess and now she was laying in it. "He had a proposition for me." She told Emily thinking back to the conversation she had with her ex-boss.

"Why?" Emily asked rounding the corner and plopping down in the couch.

"He wanted me to come back to the BAU." JJ told her taking a seat next to her.

"Really? That's great!" Emily smiled pulling JJ into a hug.

"I think I'm going to tell him no." she said pulling away.

"What?" Emily frowned. Ever since JJ was transferred to the Pentagon the only thing she had been talking about was getting back to the BAU. And Emily agreed JJ belonged there. She wasn't just another agent she was the heart of the group. And they desperately needed that.

"Right now is not the time. Henry would have to be with a sitter when I'm gone and I'm not sure if it would be the best for us. I would love to go back but you are doing really well and I don't want me being everywhere with you to hurt that. Flashbacks are lessening and you aren't as jittery when people walk up to you. And I'm not saying it's because of me because it's not. I think us being apart some is helping too. What do you think, honestly?" she picked up Emily's hand and played with her fingers.

Emily was silent for a minute. She was trying to honestly think of what she thought but all that was running through her mind was telling JJ to go back to the BAU. She was needed there. "I don't know." she finally said. "You belong with the BAU but I get what you're saying. For the past few weeks thing have been good and I don't want that to change but I don't want to be the reason you turn down this opportunity."

"Emily, I will say it again and I hope you will really hear it but if not I will say it as many times as you want. You are important to me and if by my doing this affects you I'm not going to. We are doing really good and I'm not going to give up you for a job. I can stick with the Pentagon. I actually like it and bonus I get more time with you and Henry at home."

The brunette nodded leaning in. "I hear you." She kissed her lips. "But listen to me. You are great at what you do and you will continue to be great. But the BAU needs you. We need our heart. We need someone to remind us to use a victim's name, someone to remind us that the families are hurting too. At least give it a try. If it seems to be affecting us badly we will figure it out. I want you there."

JJ took in her words and nodded. "Are you sure because I don't want this blowing up in our faces?"

"I'm sure." Emily chuckled.

…

"Are you sure your okay with this?" JJ asked for the millionth time turning in the passenger seat of Emily's car. It was her first day back as a profiler and her nerves where all over the place. She wasn't just worried about the job itself. Even though coming back as a profiler was taunting to say the least. But she was worried about her and Emily. Even if the brunette said she was fine with it and part of JJ wasn't so sure.

"I'm fine. The team needs you and as long as we keep it professional at the office Hotch doesn't have an issue either. Just no making out in the copy room." The brunette joked. She was actually thrilled that JJ was coming back. Even though they would work together didn't mean they would be stuck together. Morgan was still Emily's partner and it would stay that way.

"No copy room fantasies?" JJ cracked a smile.

"No, maybe a few in your old office though." She grinned.

"Well, I don't think I'll be getting that back so can you settle for some bullpen action?" they both laughed as Emily pulled into a parking spot.

"We can make that work I guess." Emily said in a serious tone.

JJ's jaw dropped. "What? No, Em I was kidding!" she playfully slapped her shoulder.

"I wasn't." Emily smirked climbing out of the car and grabbed JJ's hand as they walked to the elevator.

"I love you" JJ whispered kissing Emily softly in the elevator just before the doors slide open.

"Love you too. Have a good day Agent Jareau." She winked and they dropped hands moving to their own desks and getting to work on the stacks of files glaring at them. When Hotch calls out for everyone to meet in the round table room in ten Emily quickly took off for the coffee pot. On the way in JJ was running late so they weren't able to stop for her second cup of the morning.

"Morning Prentiss" Morgan greeted holding up the pot for her.

"Thank you." She grinned. "Seen Jayje yet?" she asked looking around for her blonde.

"Yeah, she was on her way to Garcia though. She looked nervous." He commented.

"Oh she is." She laughed. "I hope she doesn't stress herself out too much."

"She'll be fine. So how are things going with the two of you?" he asked smoothly.

"Good. Really good. I'm still working through everything and she's trying hard to be there for me. I think in the back of my mind I will always wonder if she'll leave again but I'm not going to give up the best thing that ever happened to me. My shrink said my abandonment issues probably started when I was young. My parent's weren't the best but it just bubbled over when Jayje left. I know she's sorry about it and that she regrets it but I will always wonder. It's never going to go away but I can't let that stop us. I know she's it for me." She said simply.

"Do you forgive her?" he raised a brow while stirring his coffee.

Emily frowned at that. She hadn't even thought of it that way. "I don't think it's that easy. I think when you love someone the way I love her it's more is it worth with it. Is it worth it to have her? Hell yes. And I have to keep telling myself she went through something horrific too. That's just the way she handled it. It wasn't just me in that warehouse."

"Do you think she would do it again?"

"No, I won't." JJ stepped up behind Morgan. "I won't run again."

**AN: So this story is winding down but I do have a sequel in the works if you want it. And I hope this chapter helped some of you understand JJ more. Honestly when I wrote this story I thought it would be the other way around and it was at the beginning of the Doyle stuff everyone dogging Emily but now everyone hates JJ. That was not my intention at all and I'm sorry to those of you who thought I just wanted them to be over it quickly. As you just read it is still a work in progress for the both of them. Anyways let me know what you think!**


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: As I warned this is the end of this part of the story. I will be posting a sequel in the next few days but to warn you it is not fully written as this one was so updates might take longer than what they have been. I hope this chapter closes some of those lingering questions but also know the sequel is a continuation of this story. All their issues that are still in the background will be brought to that story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

Emily pulled her car into the closest parking spot then leaned back in her seat. She just left her therapist's office. Hotch had ordered a six month check since Ian Doyle walked back into her life. All went well which was a relief to the brunette. Most of her nightmares had stopped, only a few, since letting JJ all the way in again and the flashbacks she experienced had simmered down as well. Only at rare times when she was thinking too much about that night did one jump at her. But she was lucky, JJ was right beside her every time. The blonde knew the words to say and the ways to touch her to bring her out of the scenes in her head.

In the months since deciding to take things slow both her and JJ grew as a couple and also as individuals. Ian Doyle had changed them and Emily wasn't going to pretend otherwise. Her vulnerability that she hid from everyone shined when the blonde was around and it seemed that Emily didn't mind as much as she first thought. She finally had someone to show that side to without worrying what anyone would think. Emily was able to let her guard down without the fear of being hurt again. JJ proved that.

She reassured Emily anytime she needed that she wasn't going anywhere. And she kept her word. If Emily needed her she was there and vice versa. Emily was finally able to truly understand why JJ left in the first place and forgive her. JJ still kept a worried eye on Henry but Emily figured she was just going to be that overprotective parent most kids hate. And honestly she wouldn't have the blonde any other way.

Sighing with a grin Emily climbed out of her car and locked it behind her. She took to the side walk as she made her way down the busy street where she was meeting JJ and Garcia for a quick bite then she was taking JJ for the afternoon. She had something to show her and she hoped JJ would like it.

Coming up on one of the stores near the café she stopped. She bit her lip nervously gazing at the object that caught her eye then pushed the door open. She didn't plan on seeing it but right in the window she knew it was perfect.

After dropping a good chunk of change she slipped the black box into her pocket and found her way to the café where JJ was laughing at something Garcia said. Her stomach fluttered as she leaned down placing a kiss on her girlfriend's lips and her hand rested on her pocket.

"Hey you. What took you so long?" JJ asked grabbing Emily's hand and interlacing their fingers as the brunette took a seat next to her.

"Session ran late I guess." She lied knowing she spent too much time in her previous store.

"How was it?" Garcia asked motioning to their waitress.

"Not bad. She said all was good which we already knew. I think Hotch was just crossing all his t's which I understand." She shrugged before ordering a sandwich and water.

"That's good. So what are we doing after this?" JJ begged hoping her girlfriend would just tell her. Emily had asked her to take the afternoon off so they could have some time together away from work and Henry. Not that Henry was in the way but some good adult time was always nice and since Reid had insisted on taking Henry for the day JJ agreed.

"I can't tell you but I think it will be good for us." Emily smirked sipping her water.

"Oh, that sounds like a spa day or something! Romantic I bet!" Garcia cooed but Emily shook her head.

"Nope, Henry and I already got her a spa day thing for her birthday. Plus it's not really a date outing." She slapped her mouth closed before more came out. "That is all you get." She said pointedly after gathering herself so she wouldn't spill more.

JJ frowned. "Pretty please?" the pout on her lips made Emily grin.

"No, now eat or we'll be late."

…

After settling the bill and leaving the café Emily took JJ's hand as they strolled back to her car. It was nice being away just the two of them not a care in the world. Their hands locked together giving them both that connection and grounding they both needed so desperately.

"Can you tell me now?" JJ broke their silence as they approached the car.

"Not yet. I will probably have to explain when we get there but…" she breathed in turning JJ to face her. "I want you to meet someone."

JJ frowned and raised an eye brow but slid into the passenger seat after Emily opened the door. "Opening the door? Is it something bad?" she joked.

"No," Emily told her running around and climbing into the driver's seat. "Not bad but I think it will give us some closure we need."

"Closure for what?"

"Doyle" Emily said simply pulling into traffic. JJ turned to face her so Emily explained. "Believe it or not this was actually Hotch's idea. We kind of formed a weird bond I guess. With the Foyet thing before and Doyle now, we understand one another better I think. But anyways he suggested I do this and well I thought it might be good for you too." she bit at her bottom lip as she glanced at the blonde.

JJ smiled softly at her. If Emily wanted to do whatever they were about to do then she would too. "Okay" she agreed grabbing at Emily's hand once again.

Twenty minutes later Emily pulled the car into a school parking lot. JJ raised a brow again but didn't question anything. She would just go along with the flow. Emily walked them to the entrance of the fields.

"He's kind of busy but if we wait we can see him." Emily said leading JJ to some empty bleacher seats. JJ looked out on the field and noticed the schools soccer team running drills but it still didn't click. Emily watched as the blonde was processing but she decided she could give her a hint. "Go Declan!" Emily shouted as the blonde headed boy kicked his ball in the goal.

Tears formed in JJ's eyes but they weren't sad ones. "Declan? We're here to see Declan?"

"Yeah, he is number twelve right there." Emily pointed to the almost teenage boy. "He loves soccer."

"Em," JJ smiled at the enthusiastic look on Emily face. "I love you." She kissed her cheek then turned to see the boy wave at the brunette.

"With everything behind us I wanted you to see something good came out of it too. Declan can do what he loves with people who adore him." she pointed over the bleachers to a tall dark haired man nearly jumping in his seat. "That's Tom Kohler. He is Declan's dad."

JJ looked over and saw the love shining for the boy in the man's eyes as he watched Declan. "Thank you for this." She whispered scooting in close so she could rest her head on Emily's shoulder. They watched practice until the team was let go. Declan came running over with a smile on his sweaty face.

"Emily!" he shouted.

"Hey bud!" Emily pulled him into a tight hug. She was surprised how tall he was getting, it seemed like just yesterday he was at her waist. "You were great."

"Thanks. Hey dad." The boy smiled and waved to his father.

"Great job, son. Hey Emily, glad you made it." Tom greeted the brunette.

"I was happy to come. Oh, this is Jennifer Jareau." She pulled her girlfriend front and center. "Jen, this is Declan."

"Hi Declan, it's really nice to meet you. Emily's been telling me a lot about you." The blonde smiled softly at the boy. "I use to play soccer too."

"Really? That's cool!" he smiled as the two of them walked away talking about the game they both love while Emily stayed back to chat with Tom.

"That's her huh?" he smirked.

"Yep, that's her. So how's Declan doing at school?" Emily asked. Every few months she would call Tom up and ask about Declan. Even though she was no longer responsible for him and Tom was a great father she still worried. She probably always would.

"He is doing great. Grades are up and with his love of soccer he stays busy and active. Oh, I wanted to thank you for coming and speaking on my behalf at the adoption hearing. I know things got crazy afterwards and I never got to talk to you but I really appreciate everything you did." Tom said.

Emily smiled looking over at the boy and JJ. "I would do it again in a heartbeat."

…

Emily swatted at JJ as the blonde brushed past her later that night on her way into the bathroom. "Hurry up in there." Emily grinned as JJ stripped her clothes off tossing them back at her on her way.

"You could always join me." JJ sauntered into the small bathroom then turned tossing her last garment at her girlfriend.

Emily wagged her eye brows and smirked. "Be right there." She promised as JJ closed the door. A split second later Emily was pulling open her dresser drawer and getting the black box from her pocket. All day she had been on edge trying to keep JJ's hands off her so she wouldn't find it. But finally making it home and getting Henry to bed they were alone so she could put it in a safe place.

She didn't know for sure when she would pull it out but she knew it would be soon. But for now she was happy to put it away and join her very hot girlfriend in the shower. Dropping her clothes she opened the door slightly and slid through. She could see the outline of JJ's body through the shower door so she took a second to stare.

"Are you just going to stare or are you going to join me?" JJ poked her head out and asked.

"Oh, I was just admiring the view." Emily said coyly them stepping into the warm spray. The steam was already making the room foggy but she didn't care. Wrapping an arm around JJ's waist she pulled the blonde into a hard, passionate kiss.

"Today was amazing. Thank you." JJ said pulling back.

"My pleasure." Emily joked grabbing the body wash from the shelf and poured some in her palm. "Turn please." JJ did as told and Emily washed her back while placing soft kisses along her neck and shoulders.

JJ moaned softly and braced herself on the tiled wall as Emily moved to her front lathering soapy circles on her stomach and breasts. The brunette teased running her fingers over hard nipples but never paying them much mind like the blonde wanted. Then her hands went south as her body covered JJ's back.

"You taste delicious." The brunette growled running her tongue and lips over JJ's neck and ear.

"Emily please" the blonde moaned as deft fingers found her aching core. Emily knew her body better than JJ did. She was always surprised how fast she could get to the edge with just a few touches from the brunette. And Emily knew just how to play her. Emily grinned against her skin as she entered the blonde and sent her searing over the edge of passion.

JJ's breaths came in pants as her body settled back down and she turned in strong arms to face Emily. They stared at one another for a few seconds.

"Will you marry me?"

Silence surrounded them for a moment and then "Yes"

**AN: I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm so thankful to those of you who left a review or favorite/alerted this story. For my first story I'm really rather proud so thank you all for reading! The sequel is titled **_**I Do**_** so be on the lookout in the next few days!**


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